That’s not to put down the Blackberry. No sir, it’s more along the lines of the statement I made a few months ago that SMS/TXT messages are the devil. If someone wants to get in touch with me via txt… well, shit, find a better way to do it (one with context). Hell, I have a phone number — leave a voice mail.

The fact is, if people really want to get in touch with me — they’ll do it. Too many ways to do it with better context than stupid txt messages.

Coming up on three weeks… Life without it just reminds me about that feeling someone died.

It’s almost like what should lead to a breakup… Being there for someone but feeling trampled on in the relationship. You care and want to be there but you can’t keep being a friend for someone when they don’t respect you or even consider what certain topics/phrases do to you inside.

Respect… And Disrespect. If you are there for someone when they need you and they aren’t there for you, if you will apologize to someone about things – but they won’t ever apologize about any anger they’ve caused… It’s just not healthy and just not worth it. Friendship or more — it’s a two way street.

Show me some respect or find another person to dump on… I’m not playing the inanimate teddy bear any longer.

A couple of months back, my friend Terra had asked me if guys start having the biological clock thing and start feeling antsy about things. This was inspired by her friend Marc who seemed to be getting that way in wanting to settle down (I forget the exact details of the conversation). I do remember telling her that generally I (as a guy) felt like it was time to grow up and some people also must get it.

I never expected a feeling of dread that I am missing out on more (love, family) until today.

I’m rather chronic with wanting to get involved and I know I bitch and whine elsewhere about my prospects.. Yet I’ve never felt like I would want, need or have a child. That’s probably still the overall realistic truth (I’m single, I am not dating, I am not sleeping around, nor am I the type to just sleep around)…

Yet last night, out of nowhere while my head was weaving it’s magic through the dreamscape — i had a child. I mean, I was the father of a little girl that appeared in the wandering farscapes and such of my subconscious. A little blond haired girl with glasses who thought I was going to be upset with her that she bought herself a toy instead of something else she needed. I re-assured her I wasn’t and put on a happy face. I also ended up — while trying to fix her glasses — breaking her spectacles by accident.

But what has nagged at me is my knowing the girl thought I was her father and I was her father.

I really need to get my mind off this subject and the entire subject of romance right now. Nothing good is going to come from a forced encounter with a stranger that I meet in this state-of-mind…

Usually a comedy blogger, Matt shows his chops on something much more meatier.

Excuses and lack of discussion – and gang-up-on-John BS.

Well, how do I break it to everyone that I bought a dog months ago? Especially when I show up with her next week?

The reason I am writing about this at all is some anger I have from the likes of the media and their interview candidates after Mark Felt admitted to being Deep Throat. Unethical twits G. Gordon Liddy and Robert Novak, along with serial-asshole Pat Buchanan, were the guys interviewed on air with regards to what they thought of Felt being Deep Throat.

Liddy has no credibility to state what he thinks of Felt – and by his answers on CNN and on MSNBC, you can see he would have prefered everything kept “in house.” Liddy complains that the evidence should have been taken to a federal grand jury – and in the age of conspiracies and cover ups, everything would have discretely been swept under the rug and Liddy never would have served time for his lawbreaking.

Novak has no credibility to make claims that Felt was a traitor or unethical for what he did. Novak himself is a criminal that has not been arrested as of yet for revealing the identity of a CIA agent. If you compared Felt to Novak specifically – these two operated on opposite ends of the political spectrum in what they did. While Novak was used as a tool of the political powers-that-be to get back at their enemies (Joseph Wilson), Felt was protecting the government from itself (and the powers-that-be) by revealing any information at all to Bob Woodward and letting it become public. One man is the epitome of public corruption and the other is the epitome of public service. That’s not trying to make a saint out of Mark Felt and everything he has ever done for the FBI or the government, I don’t know the man enough to make that assessment, but that is heralding him for blowing a whistle on dirty shenanigans that were ongoing in the government and letting the public know.

And Buchanan? Ok, well — Pat is Pat and Pat has always been an asshole of grandoise proportions in one way or another.

He brought up the fact that they had offered a free ferry in 2000 and it saw a little bit of ridership and before it, a private ferry was in service that charged 3 bucks round trip and did poorly.

I got encouraged that someone replied at all… And now I’ve gotten my head on straight and typed up another letter, thanking him for it and then talking about some issues that I have with what he brought up.

The Free Ferry operated on weekends alone. I have no clue what the hours were. It operated for 3 months total and saw some 2650 riders. Losses were 500 smackers a day. Ok, good. Now how come you were only operating it on weekends when tourists are on Clearwater Beach or trying to get to the beach all week? Were you specifically tryign to cater to the locals who would be beach hopping on the weekend?

How much advertising was part of this free ferry service? I wasn’t a beach visitor in 2000 and don’t recall any press about the ferry being in existence – let alone publicity about using it to get to and from Clearwater Beach.

If you’re goign to do something, you can’t just do it half assed. That’s what Clearwater seems to have done with the ferry while it was in operation. I’ve been out on the beach during tourist season this year and I’ve seen how the spring break crowd is confined to the strip…. That or traffic dodging while trying to walk the Clearwater Memorial Causeway.

My reply letter is already typed up and ready to send. I’m glad I got a response. Now let’s see if Pam Iorio (or one of her staff) or Rick Baker (or one of his staff) reply.

I’m a regular comics reader — every day in the paper, sometimes the funny papers are the only highlight of my day (until the day gets going) and sometimes they’re the only good news to find in the newspaper. The dramedy of the Patterson clan – be it John and Elly, Grandpa Jim and Iris, Michael and Deanna and their brood, Elizabeth and April – and their daily life is something I enjoy reading daily. Yet I am aware that Lynn Johnston is supposed to be ending the series when her contract expires in 2006. I ALSO recall several snide remarks in my local paper, by comic critics, that thought it wasn’t soon enough for Johnston to go away.

And why?

Oh, it was all over the fact that Lynn introduced a gay character a few years ago and, at the time of some publishing upheveal, she was bringing him back for Mike’s wedding.

At any rate, John Patterson is talking retirement from the dental industry, Elly Patterson is contemplating selling her store…. Mike’s living on his own, as is Elizabeth and April could probably have a music breakout before things are through (as she plays in a band and has been keen on music since Grandpa Jim introduced her to it).

Or maybe I am wrong? Of course the story can keep going — but I don’t think it will be. I think the end is nearing.

Eric Rosell, one of my best friends growing up – the kid aroudn the corner – got married in a small ceremony at a local church. It was the first time I had seen his parents in a few months, the first time I had seen his brother in a few years and the first time I had seen his sister in more years. It was amazing I was attending Eric’s wedding, surreal even. (sidenote – is it bad luck if a Catholic is married on teh day the Pope dies? I hope not)

I grew up playing or hanging out at Eric’s house. I was the one that was first notably enamoured with someone of the opposite sex… Or at least the first to make a big deal otu of love and romance and stuff like that. This, that and the other thing – I saw my childhood before me — even as it disappeared further.

The nostalgia didn’t end there as I heard from Danae – the girl who live ddownt eh block for a time who I was flipped out for. I had sent her an email wishing her a happy birthday — strange how sometimes you feel like it’s not yoru place to say soemthing like that and yet you have no problem with doing so with other people who are almost complete strangers. She got to breaking me the news her grandmother – who lives down the block – had passed away at Christmas (which I wasn’t aware of) and other things. I remembered being smitten with the saphire-eyed girl who lived at the corner… I thought of the memory of the past – and the awkwardness and malignance the relationship had in general.

But of all negatives in the past – they’ve been forgiven. If not forgotten by me.

I’m taking a break from the Stonegauge for I don’t know how long or even if The Stonegauge will be back up in the future. I’m just goign to stop with the site because…. Well, lets be frank and honest – you could care. By you I mean by everyone who is out there.

I know that really sounds pessamistic but that’s how it feels right now. I’m not writing much on here lately for oen reason or another and what I do write is too self-absorbed to really have any worth. I know I write something that not only gians people’s attention but also interests readers over at Boltsmag. I can’t say the same here at Stonegauge.

Who cares about my opinions? I express them on forums and in the Newspaper and they haven’t brought out change. I’ve shared my writing and my day to day dealings and it’s not as if many are reading this right now.

I’ll probably end up posting shit elsewhere just because it’ll be more private or because it’s not a target for spam (or hasn’t turned to shit because WordPress 1.5 sucks).

Bah I’m down.

Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see, (I can see) that you’re happy to be stuck with me

We’ve had our doubts, we never took them seriously
And we’ve had our ins and outs, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be
We thought about giving up, but we could never stay away
Thought about breaking up, but now we know it’s much too late
And it’s no great mystery
If we change our minds
Eventually, it’s back to you and me

Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see, (I can see) that you’re happy to be stuck with me

We are bound by all the rest
Like the same phone number
All the same friends
And the same address

Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see, (I can see) that you’re happy to be stuck with me
(yes it’s true) I’m so happy to be stuck with you
I’m happy to be stuck with you
Happy to be stuck with you.

I like to stay obtuse in here at times and in this case it’s especially hard to do so because my partner-in-crime reads the blog on a regular basis. That beign said I’ll cut with the detials and get to the point….

Giving a dog to a good home is something special but knowing the dog is terrified — that’s bad. Knowing that she’s going to a loving, patient pair of owners — that’s good. Spending a day with someone you care for is fantastic. Then having to break the news to that person that the dog she saved, healed and had given a life to, had run away — that’s bad.

Wandering around downtown Clearwater chasing after a shy dog at 1 AM – that’s just strange. Albeit it ‘s also dangerous with the quality characters in the neighborhood. Knowing the animal is playing traffic (not literally, but had been close to traffic and almost hit) — that’s terrible.

Going on minimum sleep and returning to the scene of the crime at daybreak to try, try again — that’s devotion.

And to see this animal re-united with her family after being rescued / captured by a good samaritian — That’s heartwarming. Left wanting more, — that’s life.

Beautiful day outside today and basically shit to do for me. I went for a walk and saw the depressing site of a teenage mother handing over her daughter to the kids father so she and a friend can go out and do something. It was rather pathetic and heartbreaking to see. Depressing to look at society like that.

And then I dwelt on my own situation most of the day – nto fun. *sigh*

From high to low, the roller coaster of emotions that is John rolls on this weekend.

But reading the lyrics over again, Michael Stipe wasn’t out to down people with this thing. He was out to keep them around a little longer.

In the face of things in this world that are not good – from politics to disasters, unjustified wars, self absorbed people and the heartbreak they cause – just seem to justify the song… Don’t throw your hand, cuz everybody hurts sometimes. When the night is long and yours alone – remember you’re not alone because everybody hurts sometimes….

Everybody Hurts

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
when you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
when you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand.
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
when you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

(Copyright © R.E.M./Athens Ltd. for all R.E.M. originals).

Happy New Year, ladies and gentlemen. Let us have hope for 2005 – a sight more than what has been provided for us as a race in 2004.