Before and after a major back operation in 2003, I had been using a walker due to the fact my balance and my gait were so far out of wack that I needed to lean on something or I couldn’t remain upright… Or I just couldn’t get from point A to point B.

In May or 2004 — about six months after surgery — I switched from walking with a walker to walking with a cane. I quickly adjusted to life with another assistant device always clutched in my hand. I had just finished up with physical therapy, and I had been hoping I’d be past the need for anything to help me out.

So now it’s August 2008… Just days away from an anniversary of another major operation. Instead of marking the occasion with downer stories and worries and what not, I made a little choice during the day on Friday that’s effected my entire weekend and maybe my day-to-day life from now on.

I haven’t used my cane.

I own a pair of folding canes — one for the yard, the other for general use. I also have a solid wood one. All of them are scattered around the house, but out in obvious places as just-in-case reminders. The thing is, I haven’t needed them. I haven’t wanted them. I haven’t sought them. After 4 years of using them, I’m long overdue to take a liberating step without assistance. And that’s what I’ve done. Neighborhood walks, shopping walks, etc. It’s been a challenge but also a boost to my own self confidence in my physical ability.

It’s a small thing, really… And if i were sitting there reading this blog post, I’d be bummed out at the topic in the first place. But this isn’t supposed to be a post about tearing down as so much building up. A long overdue buildup. We’ll see how long this lasts.

So there has been rain in the Tampa Bay area the last few days, yay rain…

…Whoopty friggin’ do.

Anyone in Pinellas County that wants to think we’re in the clear with drought conditions need only look at the official Pinellas county rain gauge on their web site. It feels sick and cruel that the tally through today (July 2nd) is 10.59 inches of rain for the year.

2007 is half way finished and we’re only about one fifth of the way to the average rainfall total (Clearwater, Florida’s average yearly rainfall total is 49 inches according to Florida Living Network. The St. Pete Chamber of Commerce lists the city of St. Petersburg’s annual rainfall total at 48+ Inches).

We haven’t hit the Fourth of July yet, nor the peak of the hurricane season (two sub-tropical storms and only a bit of rain from both) and I’m fearing how our water outlook will come November.

If anyone hasn’t watched TV and seen the faces and heard the stories of people who have been effected by Hurricane Katrina, you’re fortunate.

If you’ve blamed them for staying in New Orleans or where they are — all the while being happy with how the Government has cut your taxes or happy that Corporations are racking up huge profits… you’re part of the problem…

You might have caught Kanye West tonight on NBC’s concert special to raise relief money for victim’s of Hurricane Katrina. If you missed it, Kanye said on air (before a hasty cut by NBC to Chris Tucker) “George W. Bush doesn’t care about black people.”

Though I can grasp Kanye’s sentiment and where he’s coming from, he’s shooting with the wrong gun by making this statement. The race card doesn’t have to come out as-so-much a more observant look at what is gone wrong with this country.

The weak / slow response to Hurricane Katrina (to put it simply) represents how the separation the President and most of the government from the people (both parties are guilty of this at current). There is the aristocratic class of businessmen and politicos, donors and blind supporters that get top-of-the-line treatment with focus on issues that are concerns of theirs (wedge issues that do not effect day to day life – Abortion, gay marriage, FCC decency standards, etc) while the issues that effect the general populous (being of any race, creed or color) get ignored. Infrastructure is falling apart in the US, schools are in atrocious conditions, health care and insurance are domineered by for-profit corporate interests that keeps people from protection and medical care they need. Poverty is on the rise (and has been the last 4 years) yet you are told a rosie economic picture from the government or talking head economists because the only thing that matters is the statistics or the investor class… Not the people working, not the pay rates of the blue collar class. Not the fact minimum wage has not been raised for 8 years. Just profit margins.

I don’t think it’s a black-and-white thing that Kanye said (and other African Americans are going to agree with) as-so-much a rich-vs-poor thing. Aristocrats-vs-commoners thing. Many of us commoners can’t even begin to comprehend how bad poverty is… You can hear it anyplace they talk about the tragedy that is New Orleans: “They should have gotten out! They should have gotten to Superdome, they should have… they should have…” We can assign blame but we can’t understand the logic. We can assign blame but we can’t grasp their lives. We can assign blame but many of us would take the same route in our suburban homes that these people did in their urban apartments and houses.

We truly don’t understand shit with regards to poverty and the plight of the working class if we’re going to keep allowing corporate interests and special interests to control the country with their interests at heart, not the interests of the citizens of the United States. I don’t believe Bush can grasp what the common person suffers. I could never believe John Kerry (or Hillary Clinton) would be able to comprehend it either, or Al Gore… It’s the same-old aristocrat class that is so out of touch with America that we suffer at their ineptitude.

In fact we’re dying because of their out-of-touch status.

Kanye’s blast at Bush is a blast at the fact the government has turned a blind eye on these people — and they’ll continue to do so from both parties unless we wise up and vote with our heads… We need leadership in this country, and we’re not going to get it from someone who doesn’t understand what it is to live among the people.

“Four and Twelve seems like a real possibility.”

You know, I got a bit of bashing for having this bleak outlook at the Bucs this season. I saw things going in a direction that was counter-productive to what fans wanted and what the NFL trend was and you know what? The Bucs got just what they deserved, those who thought I was full of shit and expected another playoff-run got what they deserved and I get to deal out humble-pie for a change.

God, you do not know how much of a dick I feel like righ tnow and how bad I feel about it. I wanted to be wrong about hte Bucs this season. Hell, I needed to be wrong about the Bucs this season in order to be proved wrong about the state of the franchise post-Gruden acquisition. Yet I was proven right and there is this impending sense of dread with the coming offseason that the Bucs will try to jump right into contention again by spending on past-there-prime players and we’ll end up completely fucked because of it.

Jon Gruden, the man who can do no wrong in certain fans eyes because he brought the Bucs to the promised land, needs a swift kick in his ass and his yes-man office assistant, Bruce Allen, should be fired post-haste before they further fuck things up by doing what Jon wants to do without regarding the wellfare fo the team. There is indeed a way to get the Bucs back to contention and it isn’t by signing players for more than they are worth, going after names and reputations instead of talent, etc…

This off-season, the Bucs need to cut the bullshit with the free agent spending. It’s rebuilding time and instead of going after everyone on the market (and former Raider players) they need to go after young talent that needs a chance to shine in starting roles instead of on special teams or what not. They need to say goodbye to Michael Pittman and Charlie Garner, Mario Edwards and others that were brought in during the 2004 off-season and start a youth movement.

That also means keeping around Derrick Brooks, Simeon Rice and some of the rest of the veterans on the squad. Not because the Bucs need to keep some aspect of contention but they need to keep some aspect of leadership and direction. Brooks gives them that and Rice give them taht on defense (along with Ronde Barber). Mike Alstott gives them that on offense along with Cosey Coleman, Joe Jervacius, etc.

They need to let Brian Griese walk isntead of further being cluster-fucked with the Salary Cap by agreeing to his 8 million dollar option. They should bring in journeymen QB’s and le tthem contend for the starting psoition against Chris Simms. You can make chicken salad out of chicken shit at the QB position — look at Jake Delholme. He was nothing until he got a chance to start with Carolina and the rest is history.

Gruden, with a roster of youth and hungry players, needs to run one fo the tightest ships he has ever run…. Along with one of the most intensive training camps that he has ever run. He’s been stradled with superstars since taking over head coaching duties for the Riaders a few years ago… Without having a huge cast of big-name hired guns, he might just get the clue that he’s going to have to have patience and actually coach and not just shout orders. He’ll have to lead and teach instead of just expect results from players that were brought along under someone else’s system.

2005 would turn into a painful experience for some – a hopeless endeavour… But then again, it would right the ship long-term by foricng the Bucs back into the building mode instead of Gruden’s ill-planned “retoolings” of the roster.

I expect retooling instead of building this offseason again, however . I expect Brooks and Alstott to be cut instead of the true fat on the roster – the dead weight. All because Jon Gruden’s ego is so much bigger than his talent. He’s an overglorified Offensive Coordinator who’s gotten carte blanche of the Tampa Bay Buccaneer franchise and will run it into the dirt before he will concede that he’s fucked things up with his acquisitions and his preferences.

Where to begin, where to begin?

“I’m only sorta gimpy. I can get there by myself.” I told a curb side check in agent for American Airlines. He smirked and let out a laugh and I went on my way into Tampa International Airport to start my trip on Tuesday morning. I had my Eastman backpack swung over my shoulders, dress pants on and my “trusty” cane in hand as I navigated the terminal and made my way to the airside concourse.

American Airlines made it real easy on me and helped me out the entire way to and from Burbank. Being it lead onto the plane by a Stewardess in Tampa or the ticket-agent trying to get me a replacement flight to Tampa from Dallas if I didn’t make that conneciton flight (more on that later)… AA kicked ass in their service.

The big thing about this that upset my parents and extended family was I was going 2200 miles by my lonesome as my first trip solo. Not to mention I’m still a gimp to one extent or another, walking with and without a cane at times.

Not like I needed to care about being gimpy once I got on the streets of LA.

If there’s one difference that is night and day in La Cuidad de Angels compared to Tampa/St. Pete and the suburbs, it’s the fact that pedestrians have the right of way. Here in Florida, I’d get run down sooner than a car actually wait to turn during a green light. In Los Angeles? I got honked at for not walking and waving cars on at an intersection. That was the biggest adjustment, and the most pleasing.

The other thing that hits me hard every time I am out there is getting used to being surrounded by minorities. Mexicans, Japaneese, African Americans, etc…. One huge eclectic mix. Here in the south, people can only hold closed minded views and hold fear when thinking about situations like that. Me? I fucking LOVED it.

Sure, there is the idea you could get jumped by a gang here and there — that was before I did some thinking and observing. Grandma’s were out walking with canes, unmolested by teens hanging out and kids walking around with CD players weren’t being attacked… I think that gives you an idea it’s safe to be out and about during the daytime and not so intimidated…

At any rate, half the reason I was able to do this trip was my buddy out west, Mark Albracht who I know from SkyscraperPage.com. Me and Mark have known each other a while and have been friends for the past year +…. He had picked me up at the airport and we also spent some time in Hollywood looking around and stuff. It was fun to be out there and see some of the places that I have only heard about (the Kodak theater, the Egyptian….. The Walk of fame…).

Damn, there is so much to talk about and yet I am just rambling through it. And at the same time, there is little to talk about because I didn’t do much while out there. While I liked being on my own on a trip, I would have loved a peer with me (not a parent) to enjoy some of the things that I passed on or didn’t spend enough time with.

Of course, the trip did have it’s low point – my birthday . The day started off as it normally did in LA but I had an appointment that morning. A long overdue ABI checkup. What went so bad? Being forced into an MRI that i didn’t want to have done, having to sit around for four hours until I had the prodcedure, then being in physical and emotional pain with how I was dealt with by the staff… To summarize my birthday was to summarize my life: spent with me trying to look good, voyaging, meeting a friend, being duped by a faux ally, pain, humiliation and ultimately ending alone. Great attitude, wouldn’t you say?

Oh, I forgot to add the part about Burbank. Saturday morning I left my hotel (after barely getting any sleep) to encounter the worst fog I had seen first hand since I was a kid. The flight was grounded until almost 9 and could have made me miss my conneciton flight home… And like I said, a ticket agent stepped right up and arranged things for me if I did miss my connection. Luckily, once airborn, we made up time lost and actually came in ahead of schedule (but still not enough time for this guy to grab a meal while on the DFW International concourse.

I’m planning on getting away some more in coming weeks. A trip to NY for instance…. Who knows where else. Where I’m wanted and where I’m curious would most likely be it.

Well, people already saw on my last post I am thinking about doing a Buccaneers Web Log… That being said, Stonegauge Productions may have a new client soon enough.

Danielle’s boss is in desperate need to not only get a lower-costing hosting company but also improve (visibility, sales, etc ) her store’s web site – Chantilly Lace Gifts… It’s an E-Commerce site that isn’t doing any commerce (no sales in a year of existence). It doesn’t get any exposure and damn it, it doesn’t even give you a glipse of the store itself.

Nice design pre-designed site but a challenge from top to bottom.

Anyone interested in working with me on a Buccaneer Web Log?

Yes, the Bucs suck right now… Yes Bruce Allen is a moron… Yes Jon Gruden needs more humillity… That doesn’t mean to say we shouldn’t support Los Buccaneeros on the web — even in criticism.

And for those who are unsure why I bring up the idea of a Buccaneer web log…. Seeing I already own and operate Boltsmag, I figure a Bucs blog wouldn’t be a bad addition…

Just post comments if you’re interested… we’ll talk.

You know, I could talk up and down about he Presidential Debate last night (“You forgot Poland!” ) but I digress. That’s what all the other political blogs are for…. Soemone came off like a politician and someone came off hapless… That’s all I am saying.

However with Los Buccaneeros de Tampa Bay falling assunder — looking at going 0-4 for the first time since 1996 — I couldn’t help but start thinkign about Gruden and Bush last night. I mean, the debate put El Presidente on my mind and of course any Tampa Bay resident is going to put the Bucs on their mind at one point or another.

• Bush came into power and was blessed with the state of the economy and state of the federal budget which the previous administration helped along. He was handed a world that wasn’t embroidered with peace but if he acted decisively and quickly – he could have dealt with a lingering foreign problem… September 11th happened (which was tragic) and people started to blindly follow him through the days that followed.

  Jon Gruden came into power with The Buccaneers blessed with the Buccaneer roster anda shrewdly managed salary cap that the previous head coach helped along greatly during his tenure. He was handed a team that was dominant but couldn’t win the whole she bang, but if he acted decisively and quickly – he could turn the team into not just a one time Super Bowl champion but a dynasty. The Bucs were coming off a first round loss to the Philadelphia Eagles (again) which featured an inept offense (which was tragic) and people started to blindly follow Gruden (after he was hired) because he seemed to be the answer to things.

• Bush went to War with terror. Patriotism went through the roof and the man could seemingly do no wrong.

  Gruden brought the Bucs to the Super Bowl and won. Team frevor went through the roof and Gruden could seemingly do no wrong.

• Bush went off on a tangent and wanted to attack Iraq, and verbally sparred with his allies when they wouldn’t agree with his plans.

  Gruden went off on a tangent and started to attack his free agency carelessly, and verbally sparred with his General Manager when he (Rich McKay) wouldn’t agree with hsi plans.

• Bush continued to do as he pleased and sold Iraq on false pretenses…

  Gruden continued to do as he pleased and cut John Lynch on porrous pretenses

• Bush surrounds himself with sychophants in his administration in order to continue with his carekess plans without opposition

  Gruden surrounded himself with a sychophant (Bruce Allen) in the organization to continue with his careless plans without opposition.

• Bush’s cronnies made bad tactical decisions (Fallujah, Hallburton, etc)

  Gruden’s cronny has made bad tactical decisions (signing Darrell Russell, Signing Charlie Garner, etc)

• Bush doesn’t think of the Future with the national debt, tax cuts and costly defict spending.

  Gruden diesn’t think of the Future with his shunning of rookies, trading draft picks and costly/careless signings.

• Bush will not fess up to his mistakes

  Gruden will not fess up to his mistakes

Maybe it’s just me, but this is how I see it. The similarities stop at the fact Bush can be kicked out of office in November and Gruden is contractually signed for a long time to come….

It’s Tuesday while I write this and it will be Wednesday afternoon when I finally get around to finishing and I have to tell you — I’m thankful… I’m greatly thankful.

It’s been two days since Hurricane Jeanne went through Florida… Two days or an eternity for those who lost power during the storm and haven’t gotten it back. It feels like an eternity because, in the Florida sun, the warmth gives away to the uncomfortable humidity and makes living feel attrocious. At least for the non-outdoors person like myself.

The storm went through Sunday and I lost power around 11:45 in the morning. Soon after my text messenger stopped working properly and I was cut off from friends who would later tell me they didn’t lose power or cable over the duration of Jeanne’s lashing of the Tampa Bay area..

It didn’t tkae long for food to spoil, or my parents to insit we gobble up ice cream and what not before it went bad. Outside, the wind howeled and I waited patiently for one of the trees in our yard to give-way to the relentless wind torrent and snap or tip over. Fortunately that never happened. Or unfortuantely? The thing si a very ratty Indian Rosewood that we would probably be better off without in our yard with it’s adventurous roots.

Time inched on and all you could do was try to read in poor light conditions or watch the storm. I kept thinking back to the fact we are so dependant on electricity that it isn’t even funny. Television? Computers? Even cell phones that worked, appliances, etc… This dependance is compounded in the Sunshine state because of the need for the ever-present air-conditioning if you are going to get through on hot and humid day.

By six or seven in the evening, the wind and rain had relented enough to venture outside. I honestly NEEDED to be outside at this point. Cabin fever not only was driving me nuts, but being stuck with my parents and older brother — I felt cramped. I felt stuck. Of course, I wasn’t leaving the yard as the wind still gusted to 50 MPH at times, but it was better than being on the inside — starring otu into the overcast and blustery conditions.

We got power back around 11:45 Sunday night (miraculously). The only reason we had it is because our house is on the same power circit, it would seem, as the stop light at the intersection several blocks away. It was a relief to get cold again from the AC… not just cold but drier than it had been with the windows open and the humid air flowing through the house.

Yet there are neighbors still without power. WIthout cable… And it could very well have been me and my family still trying to get by without power… so like I said, I’m thankful…

And I’m rambling without even putitng up something of substance.

File this under WTF —

JACKSONVILLE — A South Florida businessman says he’s going to try to reduce the strength of Hurricane Ivan by flying a Boeing 747 into the edge of the hurricane and dumping thousands of pounds of an absorbent material into the storm

You know, it’s nice that corporate America is going to try to save Florida from another Natural Disaster but if there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that you don’t mess with Mother Nature because you can fuck things up REAL bad when trying to control her.