And then again, who pays attention?  The fact people don’t pay attention is why the proverbial wool keeps being pulled over society’s eyes.  But I digress, different rant, different time…

My issue isn’t about money being paid out in the rescue plans…  no, it’s how we’d gotten to the point where “too big to fail” actually existed, and how that issue is still causing grief on the US economy even after all the trillions handed out to financial institutions and other companies in the USA.

The issue is size. Go back to earlier in the decade and you had airline industries pleading for help as they slashed back and retooled their businesses while they were bleeding red regarding their finances.  Stock prices were down, amount of debt was up, etc, etc.  Why was the load so heavy?  You want to blame the unions?  Perhaps blame the white collar guys because of mismanagement?  Blame social conditions because they were absolutely craptastic after 9-11.  All of that plays into it in one part or another but really, that’s not the entirety of the problem.  No, the problem that led to the failures was the buying-out-the-competition of years prior that left the legacy carriers bloated and unable to sustain their own weight.  Part of it was the government turning a blind eye for the sake of letting business do their own thing while business was turning very anti-competitive with thanks to the big boys dominating everything.

Yes, competition still existed.  Yes, many of the smaller carriers simply failed while the bigger, stronger companies bought up their assets in order to strengthen themselves…  But they got too big.

Too big is too big.

You go to the US Auto Industry and you find the same problem — for decades, General Motors swallowed up competitors and added their name to their product line BUT simply sold clone cars that were also available under  different brand names.  Add their complacency that damned innovation in the name of profits and you had the makings of a fine mess.  Ford, Chrysler?  Just as guilty.  And no one in the government thought to break up any of these Big-Three in the name of capitalism.  “Where goes GM, so goes America” after all.

And too big was too big.  We’ve all seen it, GM’s come crashing down under the weight of their empire — bloated and endeared to profit before innovating.  In fact, the US auto industry has fought innovation more often than not — witness the documentary “Who Killed The Electric Car” for an example of this.  Hell, the aged “Unsafe at Any Speed” book by Ralph Nader is another example of this.

The US banking industry is the current example of this too.  The error that the government is playing into is that — in order to keep the financial industry from imploding in on itself, big must swallow big and get bigger in order to keep things afloat.  Trying to make things smaller — more nimble and adaptable – isn’t a consideration in all this mess.  Nope, profits are up, the Dow Jones is up and that means things must be getting better.

They’re not.  Because too big is too big.

This is not an attack on profit margins and all that jazz, it’s not an attack on capitalism…  This is a plea for sanity.  We’ve seen bubble-after-bubble in the market where an industry becomes extremely hot, everyone flocks to it, then the market explodes and those who are left are the ones who swallowed up as many of their rivals during the fallout…  Leaving massive, hulking companies that become “too big to fail” because of how it would hurt the economy and how it would hurt the worker or society in general.

The problem is, the companies are too big to stay solvent too.  Not without a sustianed market uptick.  If they do stay solvent?  They stagnate.  Why innovate when you have the market cornered?

It’s not that simple, but it shouldn’t be thought of as so complex that we should all turn a blind eye toward it.  When you have one big company doing all the hiring, they dominate.  You don’t have alternative places to run to for jobs because there aren’t many or any options.  And when they shed jobs in the name of profits, stock price and financial expectations?  There are not many other options for work in the industry because the big boy(s) have the market cornered.

Too big is too big.  That’s why you’ve heard people crowing about tighter regulations.  Something should be done to encourage competition and limit business size.  Everyone can have a profit, but encouraging the big to get bigger is a hinderence.

They’ve craved the status-quo and have shunned, if not feared, the idea of innovation in the production and design of their vehicles. Oh, the fabled “Big Three” have evolved over time but they haven’t broken any new ground. They haven’t taken an ambitious chance. What they have done is simply offer more of the same in different wrappers. Big cars turned into station wagons, station wagons turned into vans and mini vans, vans turned into Sport Utility Vehicles.

When it looked like automakers would be forced to adhere to tough air regulation rules in California? They fought it with lawyers. Oh, General Motors went ahead and actually made an electric car in case they lost their case but after they won? Not only did they shelve the things, they had all existing models destroyed. Perish the thought they would try something different when they didn’t have to.

But big cars don’t need to be fuel inefficient. Ask Jonathan Goodwin.

Over the last few weeks, that article on the “Motorhead Messiah” kept coming back to my mind. I originally saw it in 2007 before gas prices topped 4 dollars a gallon in some places. Goodwin has taken Hummer’s and made them flex-fuel (biodiesel, diesel, etc), more fuel efficient and with more power than they originally had. All with standard parts from General Motors. And he’s been doing that for years. He’s been working with Neil Young to convert Young’s 1959 Lincoln Continental into an electric-natural gas hybrid.

Oh, General Motors finally caught on… But they did it real late at that.

In reality, Goodwin’s work has begun to influence some of Detroit’s top auto designers, but through curious and circuitous routes. In 2005, Tom Holm, the founder of EcoTrek, a nonprofit that promotes the use of alternative fuels, heard about Goodwin through the Hummer-junkie grapevine and hired him. When Holm showed GM the vehicles Goodwin converted, the company was duly impressed. Internally, Hummer executives had long been looking for a way to blunt criticism of the H2′s gas-guzzling tendencies and saw Goodwin’s vehicles as an object lesson in what was possible. So GM decided to flip the switch: It announced the same year that, beginning in 2008, it would convert its gasoline Hummers to run on ethanol; by 2010, it said, Hummers would be biodiesel-compatible.

I went into absolute hysterics when I read that paragraph. Hysterics because GM was not only introduced to this years ago, but also because they were going to wait years to implement things… That 2008 target? Gone, because the Hummer brand is for sale and the production all but ceased.

You look at Apple Computers and the ambition they have shown the last decade with the iMac, the iPod and the iPhone — three items that have revolutionized computing and consumer electronics… And then you look at the Big Three US automakers and note that there is no innovation and ambition in their development and design of vehicles.

There is the status-quo, the tried-and-true… and that’s why all three are suffering billion dollar loses fiscal quarter after fiscal quarter.

GM, Chrysler and Ford need ambition and innovation again. They need someone like Goodwin (outside the box, outside the bubble) in charge of engineering, and someone of the same quality in charge of the companies themselves, to get back into the swing of things.

You can’t bank on things staying the same, and for the Big Three? Their downfall was expecting just the opposite – for things to stay the same, perpetually.

Unless I suddenly win the lottery that is :}

Who were some of the actors that were offered the role of Han Solo in the Original Star Wars before Harrison Ford got the role?

Or is this guy more like it? Oh sure, Ben Affleck and Alec Baldwin both played him in the movies (along with Harrison Ford) but that doesn’t make him a bad guy… does it?

Jack Ryan or Jack Ryan — you, Illinois residents, must decide…

(inspired by a post at Defective Yeti. Of course, this had been my thoughts when I hear “Jack Ryan” the last few days but I haven’t blogged it)

The Sum Of All Fears: Ben Affleck takes over the role of Jack Ryan from Harrison Ford with this prequel/sequel to the Jack Ryan movies. Personally I never cared for Ford in the role of Ryan, and The Hunt for Red October happens to be my favorite Clancy film (even with it’s cheesey special effects and it’s terrible mock ups of submarines). At any rate, this film moves a young version of Jack Ryan — CIA analyst — into the 21st century which sorta makes things weird. The Hunt for Red October was supposed to have happened around 1985… The other films in the series (Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger – two titles, by the way, that George W. Bush has no comprehension of the meanings) I have no clue when they were supposed to have happened but they starred the elder Harrison Ford after Alec Baldwin launched the Jack Ryan series with Hunt

ok, enough of the explaining… what did I think of the film?

Well, not being someone who has read the book, I enjoyed Sum even though the plot was confusing at times. The film is basically a nuclear standoff between the US and Russia as Neo-Nazi terrorists attempt to start war between the two nations. I actually liked Ben Affleck playing Jack Ryan – a mix of every-man instead of super-hero from what Harrison Ford brought to the role. When one watched the original Jack Ryan film, Red October, you saw Jack didn’t want to be there when sent to do something because he was expendable (“Next time, Jack, just write a god damned memo.” ) An all star cast of James Cromwell, Morgan Freeman, Liev Schreiber and Bridget Moynahan — meow! — round out this film. Worth a viewing – even if it drags at points.

Intolerable Cruelty: You know, i didn’t have my hearing device on when I watched this film and I have a strange thing happen every time I watch a George Clooney film — I think of him as speaking in a southern drawl, much like he di din his role in O, Brother, Where art thou? . I guess it’s just his mannerisms — I just can’t believe he would straight talk through this role of Miles Massey when Miles Massey seems totally obsessed with his teeth and white smile.

The film premise is simple — it’s about divorce and Miles Massey is the best divorce lawyer around. Cathrine Zeta-Jones (meow!) is a man eater, looking to get hitched, get divorced and make a ton of money off it. Of course, these two collide and that’s the basis for the entire film. Sure we get lessons on love and such, with a few laughs in between… but I can’t help wondering how gay Miles Massey’s assistant, Wrigley, happens to be?

You have to wonder if someone writing a review, bringing that question up, actually enjoyed the movie? I did, I honestly did… but there was a little comfortableness about the movie. I usually get this with Coen Brother movies but it doesn’t mean there is anything bad with the film. This is worth a viewing and I won’t spoil it with any more talk. :grin

Again, he tried the key in the ignition but grew frustrated that the Mustang would just not answer. No headlights, no radio, no grind in the engine block telling him there were things wrong. Just silence. The only thing that told him things were wrong was small red light on the dashboard that read “Service Engine.” It teased him and contrasted the night that shrouded the world around him. All he knew about where he was right now was on the side of a road at night.

He tried the headlights with no avail, and then tried the hazard lights with no response as well. He crashed his head into the steering wheel and sighed in frustration. The perfect end to the perfect day is all this amounted to. He already had a million things on his mind and too many frustrations to deal with but the old Mustang just had to add another one after being his sole friend during his flight from his problems.

He opened his door and stepped out of the car and was hit by a bitter chill in the air. He tried to survey his surroundings and then peered at the horizon in all directions around him, yet all he was met with was darkness and masked shadows.

He looked directly up at the sky but not only was the sky moonless, it was covered by clouds and didn’t afford him the luxury of letting him find a familiar constellation and use some of the star facts that Karen had told to him as they searched the heavens from the balcony of their condo.

Yet he didn’t want to think of Karen right now. Karen was the reason he was here in the first place. Damn Karen. Damn her to hell and back again.

He walked into the middle of the road trying to get a better glimpse of what was on the other side but he stumbled in the blackness on a pothole on the highway, which sent him flailing several steps before he caught his balance.

“Shit, screw it.”

He walked back and then climbed into the car, slouching in the seat as best he could. He was taken aback by the cold that he hadn’t expected outside. Wearing only his button up from work, blue jeans and Nike’s wasn’t exactly the gear you would wear to face weather like this, it might have been 40 degrees outside. He had been driving for what he guessed was 12 hours straight before the Mustang had failed him and wherever he was now – the weather was much different than it had been once he had stormed out of the apartment back home.

A horn ripped through the night and Peter jumped. Bright lights shown in the distance as a large object rocketed toward him at a speed he could not predict. He opened the door and found himself squinting to verify what he already knew from the blast of the horn, a Mack truck was heading to him. He wheeled around as he walked out into the middle of the road, the head lights provided enough light for him to finally get a glimpse of his surroundings – the road wound through a valley of out-of-season fields and a broken, dilapidated Stuckey’s sign loomed a few hundred feet ahead and to the right of his Mustang’s resting point.

“Hey!” His voice carried in the cold breeze that blew through the air. He waved his arms in an attempt to get the drivers attention before screaming again.
The Mack beckoned back to him with a loud and prolonged dual honk, as if to signal he had been spotted. Peter wanted to sigh with relief but the worries of this darkness bringing out the crazy’s or that the driver would pull a sick joke and speed by him kept him on edge.

Yet the truck slowed noticeably, in it’s approach until it lurched to a stop besides the incapacitated vehicle.

The passenger door flew open and an older man with a scruffy white beard sat inside the lit cab glanced out at him with a toothy grin. “Boy, weren’t you fucked over?”

“Tell me about it,” was Peter’s only response. If only the driver knew how truth those words were, Peter thought to himself.

“Hop in, it’s going to get a lot colder out there and it’s a drive into town still,” replied the driver. He spoke almost flatly, no noticeable accent. His voice mocked the typical stereotype of truck drivers – southern accents and southern heritage. He wasn’t even dressed in blue jeans or overalls but khaki pants, Wolverine work boots almost seemed to glisten with the interior lights. A black winter coat he wore was open to reveal a denim button up underneath.

Peter climbed aboard the rig and found the warm cab cozy and could imagine it was something quite comfortable for long hauls. He felt powerful, even as a passenger, towering over the roadway as they did and sitting comfortably in the warm leather seat his ass now occupied.

Peter slammed his door shut and the driver shifted the cab into gear and the mighty Mack once again roared to life and continued on its trek into the black abyss.

I hate being right. I hate being considered a know-it-all and dismissed. I hate being brushed off and having to live with the consequences of their decisions.

I’m being obtuse in my explanation what is going on — I was just right when it came to what tumor is causing problems with my legs and if I have the tumor operated on, I would possibly be made wheelchair bound… Not knowing how long or if at all I would ever recover and get out of it.

I thought of some of the dreams I had in the past – some I have shared with others and I realize they are gone — they only exist in my mind and the only place I can live them is in my mind… I don’t know if anyone reading this can comprehend what it feels like to be told by friends not to be negative but have your entire future white washed… Or be told that your life is ahead of you and not know the truth to that statement…

I don’t want pity, but at the same time I don’t want to feel alone even though those around me insist I am not alone — and that they are pulling for me. I know my friends care, I know that my family cares… but at the same time, there’s this void in my soul — something deep down — that exists. It’s the peace I had once in my life, one that I can fill temporarily by getting my mind off things (the writing and my last post on the journal is a good example)… but at the same time, there is only one true escape and one true way to get around this fortress of solitude and it’s looking increasingly impossible that life will afford me this.

It is, however, the tumor Dr. Smith wants to operate on, which would likely put me in dire straights afterwords because I wouldn’t be getting up out of bed — I’d be sitting in a wheelchair, unable to walk because my legs are so weak (and likely more).

The reaction I get from people is mixed — some want me to nuck-the-fuck-up, as I like to put it… Others don’t listen to me, while others can’t comprehend. My mom admittedly puts off problems — that’s how this got that far out of control to begin with, putting off and putting off and putting off. I’m so fucking SICK of putting off, and yet part of me wants to PUT OFF going after this upper back tumor in order to go after the one that causing the problems I am having in my lower portion of my body.

“But for fucks sake” I can repeat all the negatives only so much while wanting something to happen and unfortunately nothing gets done.

I made mention above about my mom telling me she puts off — she also asked in that conversation if I want to move out and never got a straight answer from me. I told her I can’t afford to, that I don’t have the money to pay for it and what not… I didn’t tell her the obvious though, “Yes I want to move out. Yes I want to be on my own, have my own place, call my own shots and all that jazz which I haven’t been able to do since things started going downhill.”

**sigh**

I’m talking to Miguel about guest-blogging in here for me while I am out of it. i might offer that option to a few others. It’s not so much so he can report about me as he can just try to keep the journal going while I am out of commission later in the month.

I mean, he’s no Howard Dean who guest-blogged for a professor at Stanford, but he’s one damn good “journal”ist.

In other news – I can’t bring myself to finish a story I started that was going to be very short. A guy getting flowers annonymously while at work. Seemed like a good premise and it is – I actually got a resolution drawn out and know how it’s going to end. I’m just being lazy in actually putting the words down onto the document (“paper” doesn’t apply because I am typing, damnit).

Then others reared there head without thinking I needed time and distance from them and the whole deck of cards came crumbling down because of it. My last entry closes out by saying exactly why the deck of cards fell. Time heals wounds and I wasn’t afforded time, so to speak.

And now nothing feels right in the world again. Nothing at all. People don’t get back to me, people don’t want to open up. The entire world has gone conservative besides those who can afford to open their heart – those who never truly left my life and are comfortable with me being a part of it because they have security around them and they want me secure too.

So I wake up in the morning right now and I don’t see a reason to get out of bed — maybe my set routine of reading the newspaper or taking a shower ends up doing it — but I struggle from that point on. I’ve reached out to friends, strangers and others in the past few weeks but I still feel hollow inside, a hole in my soul if you will. I keep expecting something to come up and distract me from all of this – something I can invest myself in that doesn’t require me to dwell on my thoughts as my writing does, and that investment of time and thought cure me of what ills me… Yet that does not happened. Target talked about wanting me back when they fired me but they have not acted like it, my limbs are too weak right now for me to do work anyway (and that is an entirely different story).

I feel like I ought to close up shop — no one in or out of my life unless they are attempting to reach me, not me pouring out my heart and soul to others like I have done. I spent hours last night trying to get into someone’s head and help them out but… It just bummed me out at the same time. I brought this person up in an entry called Seeing Past Yourself last month… And unfortunately no one seems to be able to do that – see past your own personal wants and own personal logic and look from someone else’s shoes and try to understand them and try to comfort them.

I don’t hold out hope for the human race as it stands right now – i always had such a longing desire to see Man overcome it’s weaknesses and selfishness and thrive to better everyone on the planet… Instead, we want to be paid, fed and fucked… And that just continues the stumbling of my head and heart on the neon groves.