It’s amazing! It’s spectacular, and it’s leaving me in stitches with every week’s new offering. Check Clarketplace and see absurdity at it’s finest!

Jenna: good job on the newsletter as always
Me: thanks
Me: how u be?
Jenna: good
Jenna: you?
Me: horrible. I got a flabberjabber in my doyathunkis and the wangdoodle ate my hornswogger. It’s been a vexing day of diddlydum and doodah-doodah
Me: besides that, everything is swell
Jenna: yikes, what does that mean in English :p
Me: it means ” I got a flabberjabber in my doyathunkis and the wangdoodle ate my hornswogger. It’s been a vexing day of diddlydum and doodah-doodah”
Me: Plain english. What can’t you understand?
Jenna: your hornswogger, eh?
Me: Yeah. I am just happy it wasn’t my vernicious kinid.. Hornswoggers aren’t healthy for kinids to be eating — vernicious ones or the other breeds.

Never a dull moment in Mid-World

HA!

Everyone I know — young and old — make the Daily Show with Jon Stewart part of their daily regimen (or at least catch it as often as they can). Are they turned off to voting? Hell no. Are they turned off to politics? Hell no.

The Daily Show isn’t enlightening, but in it’s cynical and ironic takes on the news, it does something that the major media outlets fail to do — it asks questions and shows the obvious flaws of those in control of the country (and sometimes the colorful nature of the country itself). It also shows the gullibility of our leadership and the failings of those in power to reach out to America’s youth as well as inspire us.

Johnny got pissed off so Johnny wrote a letter to the Editor. It was published today.

Daily Show’ is not a detriment’

Re: Is “The Daily Show” bad for democracy?

What’s this now? Jon Stewart and his crew of reporters are turning off youth with their irony, cynicism and sarcasm concerning the antics of our elected officials?

I find it hilarious that the article in question thinks so little of the youth of America. We’re a generation of people whom elected officials tend to ignore and brush off. We’re a generation of Americans who have grown up through scandal after scandal (Iran-Contra, the S&L fallout, Whitewater, Monica Lewinsky, 9/11 failings, Valerie Plame, etc.) and the article in question thinks that a TV show with a humorous take on the sorry state of affairs in this country is detrimental to democracy?

No, sir. What’s detrimental to democracy is how little the older generations – especially the one in control – inspire the rest of us. It’s detrimental that the Daily Show, which bills itself as “fake news,” has been more biting and investigative than the mainstream media for the past six years.

John Fontana, Palm Harbor

Jon Stewart, Rob Corddry, Samantha Bee, Ed Helms and Jason Jones would have a field day with this letter — not one zinger, not one barb and not one instance of inserting the out-of-place-question-for-the-sake-of-humor that the Daily Show does so well.

Matt Baldwin over at Defective Yeti flashes some humor over the latest People Magazine cover.

My older brother walks in on me to see why I am laughing so hard, and once i explained to him his face lit up a bit and he started relating to me how he loves the show… and so do his friends who call him House when they see him….

Mike’s always been weird in one way or another and I started thinking about the comparison between him and Greg House. House is distant, he’s bitingly sarcastic, shrewd, genius, cold… Mike is… Well, Mike is all of those things, except he’ll smile more often than House, he’ll joke more often than House (for the good of humor, not out of sarcastic desire).

Mike IS Greg House.

I’ve known women who’ve wanted to grab the mystery for themselves with Mike. You can’t quite imagine women wanting House but the mystery about him is there…. Helping to drive Dr. Cameron unsuccessfully towards him.

It’s odd, first my brother happens to look like David Duchovney… Now he happens to be like Greg House. What’s next? He starts making as much money as (insert movie star here)?

Oh yeah, and answering “You” doesn’t count :-p

Yes, the Bucs suck right now… Yes Bruce Allen is a moron… Yes Jon Gruden needs more humillity… That doesn’t mean to say we shouldn’t support Los Buccaneeros on the web — even in criticism.

And for those who are unsure why I bring up the idea of a Buccaneer web log…. Seeing I already own and operate Boltsmag, I figure a Bucs blog wouldn’t be a bad addition…

Just post comments if you’re interested… we’ll talk.

I was going over the site web logs – just sometime I do from time to time to see who is linked to Der Stonegauge or other sites I am in control of. I’ve been catching a lot of people who’ve been siphoning graphics lately, for example. I also check those logs for search phrases that are used on the Internet that leads people to this site. Sometimes they are strange terms, sometimes they are relevant because I have posts using those titles, sometimes they are explicitly (because I use 4 letter words in posts and other posts just happen to have the matching second keyword that some pervert typed into a Search Engine) and then some terms come out of the blue.

Here’s the one that made me do a double take:

he doesn’t want to talk to me

It got me thinking… It got me wondering…. Of course, I have no phrase use on the site that even comes close to that, and of course I have no clue who went on the Internet, typed that key-phrase on a certain Search Engine and got this site as a result, but it just jarred me a bit.

So I’ll humor myself here by just typing out why it may seem like “he doesn’t want to talk to me” to this person… And what the truth may be on why “he” seems the way he is.

I’m thinking about my own acts in the past that give the impression that I don’t want to talk to someone when the truth is that I would enjoy talking to them — if it didn’t hurt me. There’s only one person who I have this type of relationship with right now and it’s been like this for a year.

I would think that’s obviously one of the reasons why “he doesn’t want to talk to me” for certain women — hurt they’ve caused that push people away. Of course there are far more reasons out there that can be used to explain that phrase — a lack of confidence, a fight, a missed chance, a break up, just plain not knowing someone and low self-esteem telling you that they wouldn’t want to talk to you.

But the reality of “he doesn’t want to talk to me” is that you don’t know until you try. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another. Exhaust your means of getting to talk to the guy before you start pouting that they don’t want to talk. Don’t say they don’t until you try. If they end up saying to your face ‘I don’t want to talk to you” it’s best to just move on…

And for those who are like me that avoid talking to people because of hurt, there’s always a bigger story to things and it’s different for everyone — being used, being strung along, being lied to or deceived, having hearts broken by various incidents I can only imagine… Sometimes it’s fights, sometimes it’s the other side avoiding you for so long they don’t know what harm they caused themselves…

But to speak the reality again, you don’t know until you try… and you’ve got to try in all the means you know how instead of just hoping for things on your terms. If you really want to talk to him, you gotta penetrate the social wall around them.

But watching a few full shows and seeing everything going on? Jon Stewart and the rest of the gang at Daily happen to be Captain Obvious incarnate.

Oh sure, they also report on he ridiculous a ton… Like last night (I think it was a repeat) they had an interview with a fellow planning to build the Clinton “L-i-e brary” a few blocks away from the Clinton Presidential Library. I don’t know if he was on to the rouse that he wasn’t on a true news program but he told the show that it was “vital to our nations future” that people know the truth about Clinton and his lies…

…which was responded with rhetoric about how the CHILDREN actually are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way…. On and on, the full verse of The Greatest Love Of All was sang by the interviewer DURING the interview….

That’s balls, that’s bravado and that’s hilarious — mocking someone taking his outlandish cause too seriously…

Tonight? Jon Stewart fried Wolf Blitzer (in a humorous way, mind you – he wasn’t attacking Blitzer but laughing with him… or attempting to) and the media for how they’ve covered the war in Iraq with regards to asking questions. I believe Stewart asked, “Was it Group Think or another word, Retardation?”

Now if they could just lose the f’n commercials and expand the show (which would take a little too much, I would think), it would be insanely awesome… I’ll be happy with what I have for now — being a Daily n00b…

The reason I am going off on In Living Color like this is because I started searching for episodes transcripts and translations after thinking about the “Men On Film” segment and their reviews of films… (especially “A Few Good Men” ) I used Google and a bunch of times came up with nil. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkus and such. The few sites that I did find were Jim Carrey shrines (that’s right, kids, Jim Carrey got his big break doing his crazy shit on television — though he had been in a couple of movies that didn’t take before his In Living Color role) or just filed with text tiles of the skits that aired in each episode… not the actual content of the episodes.

Homey the Clown is a cult hero and should be enshrined as so much on the Internet, which is a home to the tacky and humorous. Fire Marshall Bill should be compared and contrasted to George W. Bush (though I don’t think “Lemme…. show ya somethin’!” compares with certain Bushisms… Fire Marshall Bill’s saying was a lot more catchy :smile ) and of course– “Men On Film” and the cast of Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriwether, should be displayed as the guys who started the Homosexual cultural revolution in America (ok, they were stereotypes and extremely effeminate and therefore actually impairing our perception of homosexuals as butts of jokes, but they were too damn funny to shun their… uh, preferences?). Lets give a giant two-snaps-up-and-booty-twirl to Men On Film! (which was re-spawned for one skit on Saturday Night Live as Chris Farley joined Damon Waynes Blaine Edwards and David Alan Grier made an impromptu appearance as Antoine Merriwether to resurrect the In Living Color — the only ILC skit to air on SNL).

Jamie Foxx, Shawn Waynes, Jim Carrey, Damon Waynes, Jennifer Lopez… This show really started these guys down the career path (yes, Damon was on SNL and had been in movies before this show. Yes Keenan had been a director before this show, yes J-Lo didn’t become a star until after this show, but the point is this show helped them all on their way). It’d due some respect… It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! C-O-N…. spiracy, my broth-a!

It’s time to embrace the kings of early 1990′s comedy. It’s time to embrace In Living Color… For you can do what you wanna’ do In Living Color. :biggrin

I know this comes as a shock to you all but it’s more shocking to me than any of you. I don’t know how I will live with myself – being drawn to the opposite sex and all that….

I think I might be straight flyer from the Gator Gay-Straight Alliance.

(thanks to Lies.com for this hilarious and entertaining flyer — this is not a bigoted post, just humor. No offense is intended and… well, shit… If you’re offended, lighten up)

I know this isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last, that I experience this. There have been plenty of movies I have liked that critics – or even the public – have loathed to one degree or another.

Take, for instance, Jim Carrey’s The Majestic. For some reason, I cannot not-like Carrey in a serious role which Jim has tried before to give his acting a little more depth. I mean, I also liked The Truman Show as it is one of my favorite movies all time… That’s two Carrey roles that got mixed reviews — and loathing from the comedic demanding Jim Carrey Loving public.

Add The Cable Guy to this list and you have a trifecta of bombed Carrey movies that I love. I like the dark humor of Ben Stiller’s movie in which Matthew Broderick is stalked by a cable installation technician who watched one too many re-runs as a child.

Lets not stop here however, I’m sure I have a long list of movies that were panned that I happened to like… For instance, Death To Smoochy is a comedic masterpiece to me. Ok, not a MASTERPIECE but at the same time, it’s a amusing comedy that features Robin Williams in a role that finally allows him to showcase his inner anarchist. It also lets Edward Norton finally defuse the ultra-serious image that he has passed out in movies like American History X and Primal Fear.

Then we have the Pierce Brosnan-as-James-Bond Tomorrow Never Dies. I’m told time and again that Sean Connery is the ultimate Bond but alas — I believe Pierce is and this film sorta cemented that with me. He’s suave, he’s got the expressions and the acting down and he’s just too f’n cool in this movie. Most of the recent Bond films have been less believable, to me at least, than this one…. Which I couldn’t stop watching when it came out, and that I have seen put down numerous times by the fans.

Another one that comes to mind – which has a direct link to The Matrix movies because of the writers, is Assassins. Maybe you can call this one a guilty pleasure because Sly Stallone is sorta blah in the lead role but damnit — Antonio Bandaras comes off SO FUCKING COOL as Miguel Bain. Wouldn’t you agree… Bobby?

And there is another movie that could easily make this list, that being the Matthew Perry / Bruce Willis assassin-in-suburbia The Whole Nine Yards. To some, the movie is too dark. To others? The movie humor is too light and therefore inneffective. I’ve seen this flick ridiculed by fans and by critics alike but, aw hell.. It’s enjoyable to me.

So what about you? Any movies that were panned that you actually loved? I don’t mean blockbusters like Star Wars or something either…

Check the journal, you can see the rants haven’t been there — they’ve been snippets here and there, not much more. In some cases they’ve been a few paragraphs, but the substance? What has the substance been?

Words, feelings, worries, blah blah blah blah blah.

I’m in a rut, no thanks to life as I know it an my health making life shit for me. I’m in a rut even trying to do what I know I am capable of doing. Self doubt, maybe procrastination… they are both stifling what I used to covet.

And of course the lack of creativity right now… The lack of a market… The lack of some push from something or someone special…

I feel like I am oblivion incarnate, or perhaps the embodiment of what is wrong with this world. I need some time – or a vacation from my life, from myself… from my worries and doubts… Maybe I just nee d a trip to Euphoria again? Happiness seems like such a distant land, even though I can find contentment shooting the shit up with some of my friends.

Maybe that’s all I should be relying on now? The little help from my friends when my Friends need a little help from my humor? There’s got to be more to my life though — I couldn’t stay sane with just that alone…. Though I am edging insanity as is.

It’s funny, I’ve been reading other blogs (Defective Yeti for example, Plenty of others that get sent my way by Mel and through my own glances at Blo.gs ) and no one I’ve seen is getting this personal about whining or about their lives (I haven’t seen at least) unless they have an entertaining anecdote or something….

My anecdotes don’t even tell the full story and some people think this is a good way to gauge my life :rolleyes Maybe I’ll have an amusing or entertaining anecdote sometime soon? I could really use a change of pace, honest. Enough of this shit-on-by-life, pushed-aside, maligned, used, abused and just phuckered in general bullshit which I am putting up with.

In a play of words from the LA Woman…

Motel, Money, Murder, Madness
Lets change the mood from SAD to GLADNESS

….if “gladness” is even a word…?