It was a couple of years ago that I was wondering just what Michael Stipe was singing about in the R.E.M. classic “Losing my Religion”. For the prudes or the ultra-religious, the title might suggest the song is about a conflict in faith of the Divine. It’s a crisis of faith, indeed, but it’s faith in ones own self and self confidence.
In simplicity, it’s about someone not able to work up the courage to talk to the object of their affection:
Sorry for the lack of updates — besides being tied down with Chantilly Lace work I have been hit hard with computer hardware problems which have basically rendered my computer trash.
I was focusing on this today – the computer problems… And focusing on things going on around me here at home… When it really hit me what today was… I happened to be channel surfing at the time and Imagine: John Lennon showed up on the screen and I felt like I was committing blesphamy….
I hadn’t forgotten. I had just dismissed things… And the documentary really threw me back into realizing the relevance of the day and the significance of what was lost.
Rest in peace, John Ono Lennon. Rest in peace.
There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
Last time I talked about anything that had to do with faith, the chips were down for me and people / things continued to screw the pooch for me…
Well, thank you America, you have done a mighty job filling me with doubt and ridding me of my faith and hope for the future.
My older borther Michael sent me a quote from Terry Goodkind’s Faith of the Fallen which seesm rather fitting at this point.
“The only sovereign I can allow to rule me is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists exists; what is, is. From this irreducible, bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. This is the foundation from which life is embraced.
“Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way of grasping reality – it’s our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see.
“If I fail to use reason in this struggle, if I close my eyes to the reality of what is, in favor of what I would wish, then we will both die in this, and for nothing. We will be but two more among uncounted millions of nameless corpses beneath the gray, gloomy decay of mankind. In the darkness that will follow, our bones will be meaningless dust.
“Eventually, perhaps a thousand years from now, perhaps more, the light of liberty will again be raised up to shine over a free people, but between now and then, millions upon millions of people will be born into hopeless misery and have no choice but to bear the weight of the Order’s yoke. We, by ignoring reason, will have purchased those mountains of broken bodies, the wreckage of lives endured but never lived.”
It’s Birthday Time in teh Fontana Family – between my immediate family and extended family, quite a few birthdays come up around this time of year and I am always at a loss to find a gift or something to give mi familia…
And I WANT to give, I NEED to give… I hate just sitting around like a schmoe and not giving something…. That just feels really lowball.
The key problem areas are my older brother Michael and my father. Mike’s birthday comes up in a couple of weeks (August 29th) and basically he has taken an anti-materialism vow — though he seems like the most materialistic son of a bitch sometimes. He also seems to be very much into Pool lately so I am going to have to see if I can find something that fits along those lines as a gift (and no, a cue is out of the quesiton – he just bought one).
Meanwhile, I have another month before my fathers birthday. If Mike is hard to shop for, my father is impossible. ANy time of year, any holiday — outlandishly impossible. It’d be easier getting him a few days off at a casino than getting him anything material or meaningful…
IAnd I am 2 months away from #25…. I’m due out in LA on my birthday — if I can do something other than my usual trips to LA that are uneventful, it willb e a good day all by itself.
With Boston’s tie against Washington, the Bruins can do no better than tie the Lightning for most points in the conference.
Meaning for the first time in their history, the Tampa Bay Lightning are regular season Eastern Conference champs and secure home ice advantage throughout the playoffs! :woot
Lemme say this again because this is weighty stuff for anyone who has been following this team since their inception, through the ups and downs:
THE TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING ARE REGULAR SEASON EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!
Yes, this means absolutely jack shit in the playoffs, but this is still an incredible feet for a franchise that lost 50 games for 4 straight seasons)
:smile
No not my ring, I know where that is….
No, not that precious either -it was never lost…
No, it’s my Playstation 2. It’s lost. As in missing. As in out of place. As i don’t know WHERE the hell it is right now.
I sent it to Sony on January 30th along with a C note to pay repair costs. I forgot to add some information they requested and that helped lead the way for it getting lost. Next, I can’t track the package thanks to the USPS not automatically giving package tracking to the box…. Strike two.
Thirdly? The check — the C note — hasn’t cleared with my bank yet, meaning they haven’t had the check return, no one has tried cashing it.
Strike three, yer out!
There is still hope, that being time. I don’t know how long it takes Sony to go through items in it’s tech service centers…
But for the time being, I am upset. Woah is me. Lost, my precious is lost!
And I was having so much FUN too with Grand Theft Auto: Vice City… :sad
So on this post bitter-singles day, I have for you a pair of films I have seen in the past 24 hours:
The Sum Of All Fears: Ben Affleck takes over the role of Jack Ryan from Harrison Ford with this prequel/sequel to the Jack Ryan movies. Personally I never cared for Ford in the role of Ryan, and The Hunt for Red October happens to be my favorite Clancy film (even with it’s cheesey special effects and it’s terrible mock ups of submarines). At any rate, this film moves a young version of Jack Ryan — CIA analyst — into the 21st century which sorta makes things weird. The Hunt for Red October was supposed to have happened around 1985… The other films in the series (Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger – two titles, by the way, that George W. Bush has no comprehension of the meanings) I have no clue when they were supposed to have happened but they starred the elder Harrison Ford after Alec Baldwin launched the Jack Ryan series with Hunt
ok, enough of the explaining… what did I think of the film?
Well, not being someone who has read the book, I enjoyed Sum even though the plot was confusing at times. The film is basically a nuclear standoff between the US and Russia as Neo-Nazi terrorists attempt to start war between the two nations. I actually liked Ben Affleck playing Jack Ryan – a mix of every-man instead of super-hero from what Harrison Ford brought to the role. When one watched the original Jack Ryan film, Red October, you saw Jack didn’t want to be there when sent to do something because he was expendable (“Next time, Jack, just write a god damned memo.” ) An all star cast of James Cromwell, Morgan Freeman, Liev Schreiber and Bridget Moynahan — meow! — round out this film. Worth a viewing – even if it drags at points.
Intolerable Cruelty: You know, i didn’t have my hearing device on when I watched this film and I have a strange thing happen every time I watch a George Clooney film — I think of him as speaking in a southern drawl, much like he di din his role in O, Brother, Where art thou? . I guess it’s just his mannerisms — I just can’t believe he would straight talk through this role of Miles Massey when Miles Massey seems totally obsessed with his teeth and white smile.
The film premise is simple — it’s about divorce and Miles Massey is the best divorce lawyer around. Cathrine Zeta-Jones (meow!) is a man eater, looking to get hitched, get divorced and make a ton of money off it. Of course, these two collide and that’s the basis for the entire film. Sure we get lessons on love and such, with a few laughs in between… but I can’t help wondering how gay Miles Massey’s assistant, Wrigley, happens to be?
You have to wonder if someone writing a review, bringing that question up, actually enjoyed the movie? I did, I honestly did… but there was a little comfortableness about the movie. I usually get this with Coen Brother movies but it doesn’t mean there is anything bad with the film. This is worth a viewing and I won’t spoil it with any more talk. :grin
I used to write, a long long time ago, for a hockey publication.. A local one… One that had a good little mix of local readers and local fans talking it up and hanging out on the site…
This of course was a crappy Rivals.com site but it worked. It had a dedicated owner, a dedicated set of fans and a couple of kids (including me) who wanted to do what they could to get noticed and get published and what not….
I’d like to try setting something like that up again…. But an MT version of it… (meaning a journal report on the Lightning if it’s possible).
It IS possible, the thing is I am not a great writer — well, it’s not exactly writing as so much reporting and I am a worse reporter than I am a writer… Why? I can’t get to locations to report… Not only hat but when I DO report, I get the information wrong…
I’d love to have a site, though, dedicated to one of the local sports teams and with a team of fans to help report on the team…. The Lightning is the best team to achieve that with, as the Buccaneers want to keep everything in house and the Devil Rays happen to resent their fans with a vengence….
A Tampa Bay Lightning fan site while the Lightning are getting ready for their next playoff push might be fantastic to launch… Though it also might be suicide seeing the NHL is on a collision course with the Apocalypse.
I’ve forgone saying this to my (small) web audience — Happy New Year!
I had wanted to post a long piece of best-and-worst of The Stonegauge this past year… “Best Comment”, “Funniest Entry”, “Entry I most regret” and such — but that’d be no fun because me saying what I think is best and worse on this page doesn’t mean the sentiment is shared by everyone who is reading.
I’d invite you to VOTE for one or tell me what you enjoyed most on here — but then again, that’s a lot of work for you – the reader. I’ve posted a TON this year and not all of it was on my current Moveable Type setup for the journal – meaning you would have to sift through my old journal to find some of my fave (and least favorite) posts.
But if you wanna’ — please go ahead. Meanwhile – I’m going back to being blah and thinking about posts I still want to make on here in the near future.
You know, I was just going through something or other on the web and I came across a little factoid that just hit me a certain way that made me laugh and think at the same time about a poem I wrote a few years ago (song Poem) and how true the lyric is, in a sad way…
The song-poem was Java Jungle which I wrote at Palm Harbor’s “Java Jungle” coffee shop years ago when I was still very much a lyricist and poet. The song is just rambling verse that makes sense to me and probably me alone in some of it’s meanings but has a little niftiness to itself… if you can find the rhyme scheme and what could have been the beat or what the music could have turned into with the song…
At any rate, I’m going to post the lyrics now – then I will tell you more about that “ironic and funny” little meaning I didn’t intend that I just found out about…
Sally-man say:
“Who led the way,
“Across the Great Red Sea?”
Way back,
The long way back,
Back home
Tell Mom and Dad
That I’m going mad
Sitting here on the porch
Deep toking’ a dead roach
Fabulon
And Mickey and Brand,
Across the great land
Living at the center of life
Metropolitan life
Ju-Ju-Ju-Ju-Juniper chaos,
Had a little seance
To find her kindred soul
(Only she’d be so bold)
Cold hard wind, yeah
It’s stained with sin, yeah
Only known as the doldrums
The silence hums
Play on
Easter day
Saint Jude’s Parade
Lennon Lad,
Lennon Lad,
Lennon Lad
The kingdom’s your to have
Silence abounds
1997 John P. Fontana
So what’s the big deal? Well, I could break down the meaning of each stanza and verse to you but some of it is boring and some of it – as I already alluded to — should make sense only to me (Mickey and Brand across the great land, for instance, is a reference to friends of mine who used to come down to be with family here in Florida, I would see them every summer).
The lyric that I found funny is one of the closing lines… I talk about Easter Day and St. Jude’s Parade and then make a reference to “Lennon Lad”. This is all talking about Julian Lennon. “Jude” being direct reference to “Hey, Jude” which was written by Paul McCartney for Julian during the time John Lennon was divorcing Cynthia Lennon.
The entire line was actually supposed to be reference to St. Crispian’s Day, I believe I had seen Renaissance Man not very long before I had written this poem and I was very fond of Shakespeare at the time after a year of his works being passed on to me through Ms. Ciccone at East Lake High School.
Well, St. Jude got worked in there and the reference to Julian was made — “The kingdom’s yours to have” and silence abounds… That’s saying that Julian could have easily followed John Lennon’s footsteps and gone to the top of Rock and Roll but failed to do so… Of course, Julian is still involved with music and still battles demons involved with his father and his childhood… That being said, there are reason the kingdom was never entirely inherited by him or by Sean Ono Lennon for that matter.
The ironic – funny twist that I keep making reference to is St. Jude. I didn’t know who St., Jude was nor did I ever think to find out… I just threw the name out there for the rhyme and for the reference (Jude, Jules, Julian) and only recently (reading another Rick Reilly article) found out who St. Jude is:
The Patron Saint of Lost causes.
So, Lennon Lad, the kingdom may be yours to have but from what the Java Jungle tells you, it’s a lost cause trying to inherit it…
