OK, it was cute leading up to the week how worked up people were getting about the storm. It was a tad annoying being told Armageddon was upon us and we had to be prepared, but it was cute in it’s anxiety breeding ways.

But here we are, Friday, and Fay still hasn’t left the state of Florida. Oh, she’s finally over the ocean again but technically? She’s still here… I mean, those are Florida waters.

And I must say: as a 20 year resident of Florida, following the likes of storms both tropical, non-tropical, frontal, and just standard summer storms… I have never seen a storm take such an abrupt, hard turn before:

Fay -- on Radar -- from Monday (August 18) thru Firday (August 22)

So where was I?

Oh, yeah… Dwelling on inevitability. Surgery. All that joyous stuff that makes life grand for me. August 7th, 2007 was an extremely surreal experience in that my focus had to be elsewhere instead of impending doom and gloom (thank you Oren Koules, Jim Sherrin and Doug Maclean). Surreal may be a strong word for it. A grand, welcome distraction might be a better phrasing. Having a friend come over to spend some time with me and further distract me only aided to things.

The next day was no better – wanting to deal with that story and yet lying in a hospital gurney most of the day while waiting an angiogram: the pre-operative procedure as bad as I dreaded (but with a great staff of physicians trying to deal with my issues and some medical breakthroughs since my last angiogram that kept me from being bed ridden).

You know, I feel like I’m being shallow in the details but at the same time — there weren’t many meaty details before I was trucked off to the ninth floor at Tampa General Hospital where I stayed overnight before surgery. Besides pain issues with thanks to the angiogram, everything went swimmingly.

And how can I properly term my stay at TGH besides saying I was surrounded by good omens and positive energy? Days previous to surgery, I’d gotten a religious card sent to me with the only Patron Saint I identify with. It’s sorta grim but after I learned about him (and wrote about a poem where I invoked him) I didn’t see it as an ill omen as-so-much familiarity. I can deal with familiarity.

When I got to the ninth floor, who greets me warmly but an old friend from High School who works as an Registered Nurse on the floor? It was good mojo to see her, realize who she was and have come right up to me and say hi.

Another thing that was positive and yet drenched with negativity was a nurse I had overnight who I couldn’t understand due to her accent. She was warm, pleasant and tried her best to overcome things and I foudn myself mad that I had gotten frustrated with her.

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I haven’t written much about my health the last few years on der Stonegauge… Mostly because Stonegauge is syndicated on the ever-so-excellent Tampa Blab where some of my blog colleagues (who know me better from my endeavor at Boltsmag or my participation at Sticks of Fire) can get wind of this stuff and start fussing and worrying about me. So can my critics as well with anything personal I write about on here. I’ve had private stuff published on this domain before and had it come back to hurt me. But that’s what happens when you blog, ain’t it?

I’m getting away from the fact that I said I haven’t talked about my health much at all on here lately. For the uninitiated, I suffer from a rare genetic disease commonly referred to as NF2. It’s a nasty little gem of a disease that doesn’t get much attention (besides an odd mention on House M.D. every-so-often). It causes benign tumors to grow mostly on nerves in the body. One of said tumors were the reason I began to lose my hearing as a teen and was rendered deaf 10 years ago last December.

It also gives me the supernatural abilities like super-intelligence, telekenisis and empathy along with…

Wait a minute, that was a John Travolta movie. Never mind.

Seriously… The last time I really brought up (bitched, moaned, vented, etc) my health was the summer and fall of 2003 when I hit a couple of hard patches and was frustrated, scared and just flat out torn up (to put it lightly). Blogging things publicly helped me get my frustrations and worries out in the open… or at least out of my head for the moment until the next panic hit.

It’s 4 years later and I’ve got problems again. Problems in my head this time that get the doctors attention. Now, from the smart-ass perspective, you’d quickly quip “Yeah, anyone who (inserts a thought, political idea, interest, etc) would be classified as having problems in the head!” but it’s a little more serious than that. About 5 centimeters worth of serious. Between-my-ears, behind-my-eyes serious.

I’ve been operated on twice up there before. Both times I had the operations in question out west with one of the top doctors in the world. This time around, I’m sticking in Tampa Bay and trusting a doctor who’s been heralded to me as one of the best in the world. He’s got books and awards and all that jazz. He’ll have some of my old friends along with him to make sure my ABI doesn’t get fudged up and what not.

Still, there are risks and even if they aren’t substantial — what they are is a worst case scenarios. So I worry about that, even though it’s almost like thinking about worst-case stuff when you go out and do day to day things.
“The worst case scenario while driving to the Supermarket to pick up milk is that an out of control mack truck with a drunk at the wheel, plows into my car and explodes…. Oh, and I don’t die instantly on impact!”

Rosy, cheery stuff like that.

So part of my mind (ha — the cause of all my problems) keeps wanting me to be responsible and at least report this upcoming operation, make arrangements for the “just in case”, “worst case scenario” type things. Every other part of me wants the status quo to remain — though that status quo is a deteriorating personal conditions where the changes in my health are more or less subtle until I get to a tipping point and things really get messed up and my life hangs in the balance.

Rosy, cheery stuff like that.

I don’t want to face the idea of things — out of my control — go bad and yet with responsibilities to friends and loved ones, how can I not?

While it isn’t an FEC filing, it is rather telling to see how certain Democratic presidential candidates are doing with online fundraising through ActBlue. Actblue, for the uninitiated, is a Democratic clearinghouse that takes donations for all National Democratic candidates (and some state ones as well). While it isn’t anything more than another fundraising source, it also represents the people and the Netroots.

John Edwards leads the charge, having been in campaign mode since the end of the John Kerry campaign… He’s earned over a million dollars through the Act Blue service. Bill Richardson – also a long time suspected candidate — is next on the list with 288 thousand dollars to his name.

Wes Clark, Howard Dean, Al Gore — all undeclared or just flat out not running — have a few thousand to their name… And while Mike Gravel and Chris Dodd are the ones who are oh-fer ActBlue, it’s Hillary Clinton’s numbers that should send a message to people…

Hillary, who keeps getting named the front runner because of her recognizability (or her last name) has earned $81. Eighty One dollars.

There are pundits on the right who think Democrats are clamoring for HRC to be the nominee, and there are media pundits who think Hillary is a shoe in… Yet if the Internet community — the activists who are vocal online — aren’t showing their support financially for Hillary, then why are they going to show their support with their votes for her next year during the primaries?

Just saying. It’s known Hillary is not big with the online community, but she still is the big name in the field unless Al Gore were to enter the fray (which I don’t think will happen, sadly).

I’m planning on doing a new theme for der Stonegauge sometime soon. But for now, check out the poll at right (that looks odd — if not ugly) and vote vote vote. Maybe? Possibly? Please?

I laughed my ass off over this because I’m a sodding American who never saw Hugh Laurie performing comedy…

I haven’t tried this in a long time – the last story I published in part on this blog was never competed (“Peter’s Problem” just rambles on and on) and never got any opinions on pieces fo the story I DID publish.

At any rate, I told people about this story in an earlier entry… There is no title to it as it stands right now and it’s just a few hundred words… Let me know what you think if you think anything about it… Just click on more to view it.

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So I’m sitting down, watching the opening minutes of House last night on FOX and end up going hysterical over the fact that House drugged his former lovers husband and called the paramedics before he even arrived… It just seemed so funny and prick-ish and just perfect for Greg House (Hugh Laurie, who hath erased the mockery of his abilities that was his role in the Stuart Little movies were).

My older brother walks in on me to see why I am laughing so hard, and once i explained to him his face lit up a bit and he started relating to me how he loves the show… and so do his friends who call him House when they see him….

Mike’s always been weird in one way or another and I started thinking about the comparison between him and Greg House. House is distant, he’s bitingly sarcastic, shrewd, genius, cold… Mike is… Well, Mike is all of those things, except he’ll smile more often than House, he’ll joke more often than House (for the good of humor, not out of sarcastic desire).

Mike IS Greg House.

I’ve known women who’ve wanted to grab the mystery for themselves with Mike. You can’t quite imagine women wanting House but the mystery about him is there…. Helping to drive Dr. Cameron unsuccessfully towards him.

It’s odd, first my brother happens to look like David Duchovney… Now he happens to be like Greg House. What’s next? He starts making as much money as (insert movie star here)?

I have an odd Dilema with Baseball Boards. I have a very limited number of posters and lack of reputation under the current name. The lack of posting is hurting just as much as the lack of members is hurting.

That being said, I’m still playing with the idea of what could improve things and improve member additions to the site.

The site merger is all but nixed — too much uncertainty and too much negative outlook. Too little control. What I am toying with to bide the time, however,is to have vBulletin put onto the site instead of phpBB. VBulletin gives a better look to the forums and mroe functionality. PHPBB is open source, hackable… Extra spamable.

I need to ask around if I should make the switch… Its just a thought right now – and it will set me back 90 bucks at least.

I wrote this poem with one person in mind and it’s odd that it has come true in every faccet.

….well, almost everything… until now.

Things might just be a scare but if not, it’s a serious issue has come up that coudl force a loss…. And no offense, but you were bound for it… Just because you reap what you sow.