So it’s almost nine PM here in Pinellas County and for the day, the Pinellas County official rain gauge has registered over 2.5 inches of rain, and well over 14 for the year.
That’s a sharp contrast to last year where we had only 10 and a half inches of rain going into July.
The wine has no flavor anymore
The spark from her lips has died
Her words have faded and now mean nothing
Was my love just a precious lie??
The gifts have long since been used
My smiles have turned to frowns
She makes no effort in hopes to arouse me
With sweet kisses or elegant gowns
The title “best friend” has now gone to sorrow
And dreams of her never enter my brain
I fear that our loving does now escape us
And I will end up living the blame
My loving for her used to be like a candle
That dances and savors the air
But the wick has grown short
And the air has grown fogged
And I’m dying, but she does not care
Was it a lie, the feelings I felt?
Should I have taken another trail?
Should I have avoided her caress –
And her sweet, somber sorrow
And not felt whole when she touched my flame?
I know not the answers to these idle problems
I do not know who’s guilt is to blame
I only sit back writing poems and anthems
Of regret and my feelings of shame
© 1999 John P. Fontana
I am not an IT guy. I am not a professional network administrator. I am not even an able bodied person. I’m a month off friggin’ head surgery for God’s sake!
With that in mind, I would appreciate it if someone would stop saying “You don’t, you can’t, you don’t, you won’t” and other such bitching and complaining when the wireless network at home goes down. I see the problem, I do what I can to fix it, I apologize for shit getting in the way. Now say thank you, bow before me and respect me.
The only WON’T or DON’T in this bitching fest is the willingness of certain residents in my home to learn shit about a home wi-fi network. Someone with better eyesight, someone with a brain that he won’t use. Someone who defaults to others because he’s a lazy misanthrope.
I’m sick of being blamed. You don’t like my shit or how I do it? Do it yourself.
There ain’t no comin’ back
There ain’t no comin’ back
Find my worth’s reduced to zero
Feelin’ less than a fuckin’ hero
Your silence tells the total tale
And there ain’t no goin’ back
There ain’t no goin’ back
You tore me down for the wreck I was
Ripped my soul without a pause
Singed my heart for a fucking cause
Chained me to your iron bars
You check to see that I’m “OK”
Wanting you in the baddest way
Now your crimes take away the day
Anything you say
Anything you say
Picked the lock and forged the key
Blessed by silent misery
Dwelt on pain and lost my way
Yet found some sun to stop the rain
The key to song is melody
The key to story is fantasy
The key to the soul is through the mind
The key to your panties is too much wine
You called me up the other day
Crying sorrows and whining pain
Tried to reach with a bit of tact
But hell, my dear, you’ve forgot a fact
You pissed on us and tossed away
Spit on memories every day
Shit on me and screwed the pooch
Wake up, honey! You were bound to lose!
So listen close to this lessons end
Your actions are nothing that you can defend
Don’t try to get me back on your track
‘Cause there ain’t no comin’ back
There ain’t no comin’ back
© 2003 John P. Fontana
I feel the rage rising again
Bubbling and flowing through my veins
Through my brain
Compelling me to return to the slip….
It’s the only card I’ve had to play
Dealing with my wrought-out pain
It led me somewhere yesterday
Anything you say
Anything you say
And now the lines of fate arrive
Been fighting life like a slow screw drive
All that’s left is will to survive
Until I die
Until I die
Until I die
I awake and shake the lucid dream
Of carelessness and beauty queens
Life’s so right and bright and clean
The rising halts
I let out a scream
And the rage
Does slip
Away
© 2003 John P. Fontana
Comfortable
Shaded
A warm bliss of nothing
But love
Time
Tenderness and
Nurturing affection
Maturation
Progress
With an
Epiphany
Of joy and
Contentment
Yet before too long
A thorn
A weed
A pain filled push
A shove
Leading to a fight
For restraint
Containment
The bitter pill is often weak
Yet it’s poison does runeth deep
And rhyme to reason, the end of season
Leaves one longing for a day in the past
Shells
Spent rounds
A war ragged on
Familiar grounds
While protests
Rejection
Hang fresh on the air
And forlorn shadows
Echo on the ground
And what is left
Pools of blood
Sorrow
A deep, heavy-hearted parting
A love lost
A love gained
A new day…
Confirmation of
Love
Accomplishment
Meaning
Yet a life left to wander
Without sense of direction
For now
© 2003 John P. Fontana
So where was I?
Oh, yeah… Dwelling on inevitability. Surgery. All that joyous stuff that makes life grand for me. August 7th, 2007 was an extremely surreal experience in that my focus had to be elsewhere instead of impending doom and gloom (thank you Oren Koules, Jim Sherrin and Doug Maclean). Surreal may be a strong word for it. A grand, welcome distraction might be a better phrasing. Having a friend come over to spend some time with me and further distract me only aided to things.
The next day was no better – wanting to deal with that story and yet lying in a hospital gurney most of the day while waiting an angiogram: the pre-operative procedure as bad as I dreaded (but with a great staff of physicians trying to deal with my issues and some medical breakthroughs since my last angiogram that kept me from being bed ridden).
You know, I feel like I’m being shallow in the details but at the same time — there weren’t many meaty details before I was trucked off to the ninth floor at Tampa General Hospital where I stayed overnight before surgery. Besides pain issues with thanks to the angiogram, everything went swimmingly.
And how can I properly term my stay at TGH besides saying I was surrounded by good omens and positive energy? Days previous to surgery, I’d gotten a religious card sent to me with the only Patron Saint I identify with. It’s sorta grim but after I learned about him (and wrote about a poem where I invoked him) I didn’t see it as an ill omen as-so-much familiarity. I can deal with familiarity.
When I got to the ninth floor, who greets me warmly but an old friend from High School who works as an Registered Nurse on the floor? It was good mojo to see her, realize who she was and have come right up to me and say hi.
Another thing that was positive and yet drenched with negativity was a nurse I had overnight who I couldn’t understand due to her accent. She was warm, pleasant and tried her best to overcome things and I foudn myself mad that I had gotten frustrated with her.
So there has been rain in the Tampa Bay area the last few days, yay rain…
…Whoopty friggin’ do.
Anyone in Pinellas County that wants to think we’re in the clear with drought conditions need only look at the official Pinellas county rain gauge on their web site. It feels sick and cruel that the tally through today (July 2nd) is 10.59 inches of rain for the year.
2007 is half way finished and we’re only about one fifth of the way to the average rainfall total (Clearwater, Florida’s average yearly rainfall total is 49 inches according to Florida Living Network. The St. Pete Chamber of Commerce lists the city of St. Petersburg’s annual rainfall total at 48+ Inches).
We haven’t hit the Fourth of July yet, nor the peak of the hurricane season (two sub-tropical storms and only a bit of rain from both) and I’m fearing how our water outlook will come November.
The St. Petersburg Times ran a story today about how watering restrictions are needed — Now — in Hillsborough County. It also went on to point out restrictions in place:
Commissioners put off until May 17 a hearing on whether to reduce watering to once weekly from two days. Some other area governments, such as Pinellas County and Brooksville, already impose that sound restriction. With the last heavy rain in February, and nothing significant expected for weeks, the region’s demand for water has soared. Last month’s demand was 22 percent higher than what utility officials expected. And for the first time, demand in Hillsborough outstripped Pinellas. Hillsborough commissioners should have seen the impact they could have made to help the region scrimp along until the wet summer months.
Excuse me, did you say Pinellas?
Living at the top’o'the’bay here in Pinellas county, I’ve seen neighbors watering twice a day every day for the past few weeks. I’ve seen absolutely nothing in the paper (be it the Times or the free Suncoast News ) suggesting Pinellas is restricting water usage, let alone enforcing watering restrictions.
I don’t know if this is bad journalism (I doubt it) or more like bad – if not terrible – enforcement and advertisement of watering rules in county.
It is SO FRIGGIN’ HOT!
September in Tampa Bay is supposed to be just like August, or July, or June — hot, humid, and wet… The wetness is supposed to come from not only tropical showers but the chance of a tropical system (Tropical Storm or Hurricane) coming through the area. On average, Tampa Bay gets almost 3 and a half inches of rain in September.
In 2005? We’ve gotten two hundreths of an inch of rain.
Things are drying and dying out at an incredible rate and you have to wonder just when we’re goign to go back to severe drough warnings and conservation in the area…. We’ve grown since the early and mid 1990’s when we were last stuck in a drought and water consumption must be at an all time high…
The reason it’s so dry and hot? Thank both Hurriance Katrina and Hurricane Ophelia. Katrina sapped the moisture in the region as she headed for Louisiana and then Ophelia formed and not only absorbed moisture but blew dry winds from the Carolinas right over Florida…
With that wind pattern — all we have is heat and haze… It’s disgusting, it’s painful and there is no end in sight despite Tropical Storm Rita’s projected forray across the Strait of Florida.
I’m upset I am heading to Los Angeles early next month right now — I’ll be going rom dry and hot to dry and cooler… I’d like MOIST. I’d like RAIN… I’d like WET…
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