This is going to be a doozy of a week for me — trying? Challenging is more like it.. Lonely as well as interesting…

LA’s fine, the sun shines most the time… and the feeling is laid back….
John’s a gimp and tends to be a wimp and he has a habit to… keep on lookin’ back.

I’m going out west all alone for the first time in my life. A trip on my own itself would be a challenge but one that takes me 2500 miles without a saftey net is something that troubles the shit out of my family… and me to one extent or the other.

But I want time away form them. I need time away from them and thsi suburb (but going to the sprawl of LA is almost as bad). I’ve been stuck imobile for almost a year and now that i have my mobility back, the only thing that I want to stop me is finances and being able to pay for trips where I want to go.

Oh, there is that little matter of my birthday on Thursday too. Not that I am looking forward to beign 25 years old and basically not where I want to be. I’m trying to make headway but… Heh… I’ve accomplished a bit that I never intended too and I have things everyone accomplishes by now — except me — looming over my head. This trip is one of them… Most people do shit on there own by now or have done it once or twice. I haven’t. That’s got to change.

So I order another 2 pairs of slacks off Amazon.com for my trip to LA, just because I could use them.

And then I find out they won’t be arriving until the afternoon of the day I leave for California.

Bastards

Well lookie here! I post this this morning and what arrives this afternoon but two pairs of Dickie pants that I ordered…. Just in time for the trib next week so I won’t have to rely on blue jeans the entire time.

I’m still a gimp, as I like to say. But I’m going away on my own for most of a week in a couple of weeks. Maybe that can be taken as a birthday present for myself or just a desperate need to get away. That being said – I’m going away… Way away. Californi-a.

The big thing is that this is on my own. It’s rather sad that I’m going to be a quarter century old and this will be the first time I’ve been on a trip by myself or been at a distance from my family without having some caretaker looking over me (that usually being a nurse… hello nurse! ).

It’s part of that innocent quality to my life I guess. Never having to fend for myself. But at this point, I have GOT to get away. Away from my family and away from this house. Even if I spend the entire trip in a hotel in Hollywood, too afraid to do anything, it’s a hell of a lot better than being stuck in the suburbs.

I’m supposed to have a tuneup for the ABI (hearing device) and speak to my doctor out there as well with regards to my health. But that’s supposed to take half a day and I’m going out to Hollywood for five… Craptastic!

It’s Birthday Time in teh Fontana Family – between my immediate family and extended family, quite a few birthdays come up around this time of year and I am always at a loss to find a gift or something to give mi familia…

And I WANT to give, I NEED to give… I hate just sitting around like a schmoe and not giving something…. That just feels really lowball.

The key problem areas are my older brother Michael and my father. Mike’s birthday comes up in a couple of weeks (August 29th) and basically he has taken an anti-materialism vow — though he seems like the most materialistic son of a bitch sometimes. He also seems to be very much into Pool lately so I am going to have to see if I can find something that fits along those lines as a gift (and no, a cue is out of the quesiton – he just bought one).

Meanwhile, I have another month before my fathers birthday. If Mike is hard to shop for, my father is impossible. ANy time of year, any holiday — outlandishly impossible. It’d be easier getting him a few days off at a casino than getting him anything material or meaningful…

IAnd I am 2 months away from #25…. I’m due out in LA on my birthday — if I can do something other than my usual trips to LA that are uneventful, it willb e a good day all by itself.

I’ve been paying attention to the Comic Strips in the paper this week out of curiosity… I really didn’t expect there to be anything of note until I looked at Get Fuzzy (growing to be one of my favorites) and Doonesbury…

Get Fuzzy is running a series this week with regards to the main character’s (Rob Wilco) cousin coming home from Iraq — after losing a leg. Today’s post was the one that got me the most. Rob’s at the airport and he’s informed (or has been informed) that the plane doesn’t arrive until 2AM. “Shouldn’t these guys be getting back when people could welcome them home?”

Indeed.

So we actually turn down the amount of social / political issues for Doonesbury which is also an issue with one of the main characters. BD, who’s in Iraq, has been wounded…

Not so funny a time in the Funnies… but I guess this is also to make people more aware that this isn’t a military action of all glory going on in the Middle East.

Nice, Altoid’s now offers breath-strips much like my fave Listerine Cool Mint breath strips…

You ever realize how much more likely it is for a person to come online and treat others like total shit and act like assholes? You get it on message boards, you get it on web sites, you get it in journals, you get it in chat room, you get it from web cams and the like — I’ve seen it all…

Gabe and Tycho posted another strip up that displays just what I am talking about.. Simple and straight forwards and scarily accurate.

I’ve heard from my female friends old and new about guys and how they wills tart off conversations with women on here — and it just surprises the hell out of me but like the cartoon says, the anonymity gives a great reason to try it — you can get away with it and might even get lucky with some kinky conversation.

And I’ve experienced it first hand with a few who are more, shall we say, sexually open who follow the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” to a T.

The Internet Fuckwad – it’s what America is doing online.

The city of Clearwater has plans on being a vital part of Pinellas County’s (flawed) Monorail plan that is on the Metropolitan Planning Organization’s drawing board. The monorail would run into downtown and then across Clearwater Harbor and arrive at Clearwater Beach as an alternate mode of transportation.

Overkill. Over costly and not a sure fire way to bring in tourists or re-vitalize downtown.

I came across a thread on Skyskraperpage that talked about Sky Gondola’s that will connect Detroit with Windsor, Ontario and I thought that it was a perfect mode of transit for a link between Clearwater and Clearwater Beach. Why? First off, it would be a surefire tourist attraction among those who are out-of-state visitors along with drawing the curious from in and around the Bay area. Secondly, it is a much less costly mode of transit than a monorail between the two land masses.

Another part of why I like this idea is because you can really obtain a better termination point for the Gondola because the station would not have to take up a lot of land (I think?). I would think that a terminal close to the main strip of the beach (and much closer than the termination point / terminus of the Monorail system) and the main drag would be a possibility. Depositing people in the heart of the area would be outstanding instead of letting people get lost trying to find attractions.

Of course, the biggest positive of this idea is getting people out of cars and onto their feet. Pedestrians are much more manageable than cars and a ton of traffic. Plus, if you are going to the beach to begin with, don’t you want to get out in the sun?

It’s an interesting concept and a viable one at that…. The question is, will Clearwater even consider looking into this (I wrote the City Counsel and Mayor a letter with regards to this)? My guess is no, but you never know….

Hours left in 2003 and all I can say is GOOD RIDDENCE.

Between heart break, heart ache, hurt, physical difficulties, brain farts, anomolies, family fights, family plights, family deaths and trips to the vet, Bushisms, politics, unjustified wars, and even MORE bullshit, I am eager to see the year off and have hope that 2004 will be much more of a positive year for me and those around me than this year has been.

Here’s to you, 2003 — I entered you with optimism and exit you while in pain and misery…

So I needed a fresh MRI… that’s ok, that’s fine… 20 minutes, maybe a half hour in all… in and out, that’s what I figured when I heard about it yesterday.

Need to be prepared for tomorrow… Need my doctor fully prepared too… Give him everything he needs, no questions…

So I show up at a MRI clinic in south Tampa today which I had never been to. I showed up sometime before 10 AM with the intention of just going in and getting my shit done and going out. I figured there might be some delays because I was a last minute entry into the schedule – but I can deal with that, right? No biggie…

The biggie was everything after that. Waiting around, I get put off, put around, sidetracked, sideways. i have to strip down for the MRI and then have to sit around, freezing my ass off in 70 degrees, waiting to find out that the MRI unit is too powerful for me and it would be easier to get a copy of my OLD MRI Films from my normal clinic.

Just ook them 2 hours of bitching, paging, running around and other shit in order to figure this out. I’m pissed off at the clinic, I’m pissed off at the Cochlear corp (who happen to make my dandy ABI hearing device), I’m just pissed off in general – this is no way you want to be lead into surgery… “Eh, we won’t have things set for you, son. Sucks to be you. Hope your doctor is a miracle worker because he won’t have fresh shizit to help him through surgery.”

:rolleyes

SO i have hours left of this life, if this is a life. I was talking to a friend last night and came to the realization I have been at this crossroads before – that was when I lost my hearing though. It was a lot different and a lot the same — going back to square one, entirely. Having to learn how to deal with life all over again from a new perspective…

….That is, if things don’t work out. And honestly – I don’t know how they will work out. Right now I think I need a miracle….