So where was I?

Oh, yeah… Dwelling on inevitability. Surgery. All that joyous stuff that makes life grand for me. August 7th, 2007 was an extremely surreal experience in that my focus had to be elsewhere instead of impending doom and gloom (thank you Oren Koules, Jim Sherrin and Doug Maclean). Surreal may be a strong word for it. A grand, welcome distraction might be a better phrasing. Having a friend come over to spend some time with me and further distract me only aided to things.

The next day was no better – wanting to deal with that story and yet lying in a hospital gurney most of the day while waiting an angiogram: the pre-operative procedure as bad as I dreaded (but with a great staff of physicians trying to deal with my issues and some medical breakthroughs since my last angiogram that kept me from being bed ridden).

You know, I feel like I’m being shallow in the details but at the same time — there weren’t many meaty details before I was trucked off to the ninth floor at Tampa General Hospital where I stayed overnight before surgery. Besides pain issues with thanks to the angiogram, everything went swimmingly.

And how can I properly term my stay at TGH besides saying I was surrounded by good omens and positive energy? Days previous to surgery, I’d gotten a religious card sent to me with the only Patron Saint I identify with. It’s sorta grim but after I learned about him (and wrote about a poem where I invoked him) I didn’t see it as an ill omen as-so-much familiarity. I can deal with familiarity.

When I got to the ninth floor, who greets me warmly but an old friend from High School who works as an Registered Nurse on the floor? It was good mojo to see her, realize who she was and have come right up to me and say hi.

Another thing that was positive and yet drenched with negativity was a nurse I had overnight who I couldn’t understand due to her accent. She was warm, pleasant and tried her best to overcome things and I foudn myself mad that I had gotten frustrated with her.

(more…)

First and foremost to anyone who knows me and actually visits Stonegauge from time to time to see what’s on my mind or what else I am up to… I’ve stayed off here a lot lately because I’ve been bored with it a bit — Boltsmag gives me a topic to focus on while Stonegauge asks me to focus on me and my life is rather boring.

Oh yeah, and the fact I don’t want to bitch about personal things knowing people know this is my personal blog.

But I gotta bitch today because I’m looking for an old family friend… Or friends more like it.

In 1984..? I think that was it… I moved into a house in Blue Point, New York with my family… Nice ranch place with cedar shingles and brick accents. There was a nursery next door and it was a quaint, small town on Long Island… There’s a plethora of details about Blue Point or that house but none are pertinant to this tory besidse what I want to talk about.

One afternoon after moving in, I was inside doing one thing or another and my brothers were out back — giggling and acting really weird by the back fence. I went to investigate what was going on and I found out they were making a fuss about a girl (and her friend) in the next yard. Mike and Andy were acting anti-social in one way or another and I thought “What’s the big deal?” and started up conversation with the girls… This was the begining of a great neighborly friendship between the Fontana family and the Reilly Family.

The girl in question was Shannon. Shannon H. Reilly if I do so recall her middle initial. She was about the same age as my older brother and went to Blue Point elementary school (while me and my older brother were attending Sylvain Avenue Elementary in nearby Bayport)… Shannon was basically the fourth child of my parents while me and my brothers became children of Shannon’s parents. We really were interchangable children and would spend time playing at each others houses all the time (except when I got tugged into some type of disagreement between my older brother and Shannon). I believe her parents names were Mary “Mussy” Reilly and Rich.

Shannon would later have a little brother, Brian, who became the fifth partner in crime. Of course, Brian would be too young for most of the -adventures that we’d undertake but he was none the less part of the equation when we did something.

At any rate, I moved away from New York to the Tampa Bay area in January 1989. The Reilly’s were there to send us off. They’d later take a trip from their home in New York to Florida and make sure to stop to see us along the way.

But time and distance made things fade. We did end up visiting the Reilly’s after they moved to Massachusetts during the 1990’s (not far from Foxboro if I do so recall) … But after that I can’t recall much of anything – news or what not – of the Reilly family. I did not see Shannon at that mid-1990’s get together because she was still in New York, finishing school while staying with relatives. I do remember Brian was playing offensive line in football but… eh.

I wanna know whatever happened to Shannon? I want to knwo what’s up with the Reilly family and I hope everything is ok. It’s a shot in the dark trying to write a blog entry about them — but after I did research on various platforms trying to find them and failed… I thought this was at least worth a shot….

So I’m sitting down, watching the opening minutes of House last night on FOX and end up going hysterical over the fact that House drugged his former lovers husband and called the paramedics before he even arrived… It just seemed so funny and prick-ish and just perfect for Greg House (Hugh Laurie, who hath erased the mockery of his abilities that was his role in the Stuart Little movies were).

My older brother walks in on me to see why I am laughing so hard, and once i explained to him his face lit up a bit and he started relating to me how he loves the show… and so do his friends who call him House when they see him….

Mike’s always been weird in one way or another and I started thinking about the comparison between him and Greg House. House is distant, he’s bitingly sarcastic, shrewd, genius, cold… Mike is… Well, Mike is all of those things, except he’ll smile more often than House, he’ll joke more often than House (for the good of humor, not out of sarcastic desire).

Mike IS Greg House.

I’ve known women who’ve wanted to grab the mystery for themselves with Mike. You can’t quite imagine women wanting House but the mystery about him is there…. Helping to drive Dr. Cameron unsuccessfully towards him.

It’s odd, first my brother happens to look like David Duchovney… Now he happens to be like Greg House. What’s next? He starts making as much money as (insert movie star here)?

I feel real weird sometimes when I accomplsih things for myself and by myself. Especially when it isn’t somethign that I have an official say over. Calling over cable problems a few weeks ago while my father ignored the problem and tried tos et up a phone line was one example of it. Today was another example of it.

For months – maybe longer – there’s been a lingering problem in the front of my yard – the water gutter has been cracking. Not just cracking but raising to such a degree it stops water from flowing down the gutter and to the drain. I’ve talked to my parents aobut it a few times and they have shrugged mostly at the problem. “Yeah, we need to get that fixed…. But what am I supposed to do about it?”

That attitude is something I’ve taken with me in life and being disabled to one degree or another, that attitude does not help me accomplish things I need to accomplish or SHOULD accomplish.

So Wednesday, before another bout of rain that we have had a good deal of here in Florida so far this year, I emailed the county about the problem. I expected to be ignored or hav emy problem lost in beauracracy and red tape.

Maybe it still will be but this morning it looked like somethign was actually going to be done.

First off, I get an email from someone with the North County Operatiosn center here in Pinellas. Standard wordplay with my complain being forwarded to appropriate parties and la-de-da. I thought this was proof of red-tape in the making.

…Up until someone showed up at the door a few hours later, asking for me.

A woman with the highway department had shown up and had talked to me briefly about the problem, I showed her the drain and how the water was being blocked by the rising concrete, which was being demonstrated while rain fell around us. SHe told me that they woudl be able to make the repair within a month and they woudl be in touch.

That’s mroe action on the problem in 24 hours than anyone in this family has had, besides talk, in several years.

Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) has just attempted to explain his complicated problems with his girlfriend Alyssa’s lurid past to his friends, Jay and “Silent” Bob. This leads to the longest speech of the Jersey Films Quadrology by our beloved Silent Bob:

Silent Bob: Chasing Amy.
(Shocked silence, more for the audience than anyone else)

Holden: What? What did you say?

Bob: You’re chasing Amy.

Jay: Why do you so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. Think just because never says anything, it’ll have some huge impact when he does open his fucking mouth…

Bob: Jesus Christ, why don’t you just shut the fuck up. You’re yap, yap, yapping all the time. Give me a fucking headache. (to Holden) I went through something like what you’re talking about, a couple years ago, this chick named Amy.

Jay: When?

Bob: A couple years ago?

Jay: What, you live in Canada or something? Why don’t I know about this?

Bob: Bitch, what you don’t know about me I could just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? (does a gesture with his hands, a reference to a move by the exotic dancers in “Showgirls”) Betcha ya didn’t even know that shit, did ya?

Jay: So tell your fucking story so we can get outta here and smoke this.

Bob: So, there’s me and Amy. And we’re all inseparable, right? Big time in love. Then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how you don’t wanna know, but just have to know–stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him. How they fell in love, how they went out for a couple of yeas, how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah blah blah blah blah. And I’m okay. Then she drops the bomb. And the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with him, “menage a troi,” I believe it’s called. And this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sorta thing; I was raised Catholic, for Gods sake.

Jay: Saint shithead.

Bob (to Jay): Do something. (to Holden) So I’m totally weirded out by this, right? So I start blasting her. I mean, I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling, so I figure the best way is to call her ’slut,’ tell her she was used. I’m out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I’m like, “What the fuck is your problem,” right? And she’s just trying to calmly tell me it was that time, it was that place, and she doesn’t feel like she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong. And I say, “Oh, really?” That’s when I look her straight in the eye, tell her it’s over. I walk.

Jay: Fucking-A.

Bob: No, idiot, it was a mistake. I wasn’t disgusted with her, I was afraid. In that moment, I felt small, like I lacked experience, like I’d never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I’m saying? But what I did not get: she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy any more. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I figured this all out, it was too late. She had moved on. And all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now. But (lights a cigarette) I pushed her away. (pause) So I spend every day since then chasing Amy. (pause) So to speak.

Oh how the Mighty have fallen.

Off Wing Opinion quotes two articles with regards to the breaking of the Sports news leader… The once cultish sports network has risen to carrying all 4 major sports, along with poker and other side leagues, and a promotional arm for it’s owner: Disney.

Honestly I watched for a while after Keith Olbermaan left ESPN for MSNBC… I never really fell in love with Kenny Mayne, but that’s not the real downfall of ESPN (losing an anchor). It started when Keith left the Big Show and ESPN looked for Olbermaan clones… It seemed everyone had to have extra quips and had to try to add tag lines to scores… Stuart Scott and Rich Eisen were ok with it, other people doing it just seemed a little weird if not lame.

Then Sportscenter started just getting too flash-in-th-pan for me. The News seemed to fade and trying to boost sports personalities seemed to get a rise. I was getting ESPN: The Magazine for a time and I canceled my subscription because they were hyping players that shouldn’t be hyped and trying to make me feel sorry for multi-millionaires while the relevance of the articles that appeared in the magazine seemed to degrade with every single issue.

ESPN used to stand for news to me. I grew up watching the morning editions of Sportscenter before running off to school. There were tag lines and zingers used in those days but there was also the NEWS relevance part of the coverage. It wasn’t a promo with regards to a top team, but it was a report on news of teams around he league. Sure, shitty teams didn’t get a ton of coverage but when they DID you knew they were either playing someone relevant or they themselves were becoming more relevant. I used to judge the barometer of the Bucs and Bolts through replays on ESPN, or commentary by ESPN Analysts.

I haven’t watched Sportscenter in years now… not a full episode at least. I don’t watch NFL Primetime anymore because of garbage they’ve had the last few years (including Rush Limbaugh) and the coverage of the NHL playoffs further made me loathe the former sports leader.

I miss the old days of ESPN, but of course those are never to return… But maybe someday, someone, somewhere will figure out that sports enthusiasts want to have in depth reporting and not annoying TV personalities. Sure, we’d like some entertainment with our sports but we don’t want TV ties, Film ties and other corporate ties shoved down our throats.

Can someone tell me what the rule is when it comes to going to a restaurant and acting like a total asshole? Or totally snobbish?

It seems the last two times I went to a finer restaurant — not a fine restaurant where there is a proper dress code, but nicer, finer restaurant where sandals and tank tops still find there way into the building — I’ve been told to act like a pompous prick and seen family do just that when things go weird. My mom especailly…

Maybe a year ago I went to a restaurant in downtown Dunedin with family. Nice place, nice atmosphere, forgot the name of it though so you’ll have to forgive me. While dining I dropped my fork and family insisted that I not pick up the fork…. Well, not much family, just my mom. When other things happened, I was told that the waitress will handle it. It drove me insane to be waited on over mundane things. This wasn’t like “Let the waiter put a napkin on your lap” type stuff. This was just normal “I’m not a lazy slob” type stuff.

Skipping over that event and finer details of the event — we jump to last night and my dining experience at Sam Seltzers Steakhouse in Clearwater. Not fine dining but it was a hell of a nice place to go to and a hell of a long wait to have. We must have waited an hour and a half for seats (which I’ve always told my parents “Get reservations to that place if you insist on trying to eat there sometime”) and in some ways it was worth it because it was just a nice place to go to…

But then my mother’s pomposity came into it.

Maybe she’s getting eccentric in her age or maybe I’m just too damned sensitive to others. A waiter was trying to handle some dishes — i didn’t pay attention to the fact if they were dirty or clean plates he was handling. What happened was, he tried putting them on an assistance tray/table next to one booth and slipped — he had the plates come crashing down. And my mom clapped and applauded him.

She applauded him with the attitude of a pure-spirited “I don’t give a fuck” woman who was stuffing her face and trying to have a good time at others expense.

Rage bubbled up from within me in embarrassment. I wanted to get up and actually help the guy with the mess but the gimp known as Me can’t quite handle that. I fumed and started telling my mom exactly what I felt. “I can’t believe you did that! Lift your nose up a little higher, mom, lift it up a little higher for everyone to see you’re the most pompous person in the building.”

Yes, that was disrespectful… And who knows, maybe I was over-reacting…. But then again? I’ve been the guy who has to face a crowd after an embarrassing episode and I do NOT want other people to experience the humility of it all — especially when one prick goes off and tries to make me feel worse than I already do. Maybe the waiter didn’t care? Maybe he’d been through this a thousand times already? In any case, wrong is wrong and acting like a asshole in a restaurant is a no-no. You’re supposed to do unto others a you want done unto you right? So why do you start exploiting a persons goof / mistake in embarrassing circumstances instead of trying to help the situation?

If I was at my friends house and that happened — where my friend is the one dealing with dishes and what not, or someone who knows who I am and what I stand for is handling the dishes — I’d possibly do what my mom did and start exploiting it because it’s in jest, it’s good fun and people around me know I don’t mean any harm by it. I’d tell the person (if it wasn’t a person totally familiar with me) that I was just kidding around and teasing and try to help them out after… That’s the type of person I am after all.

I’m not going to act like a dick, however, in the company of strangers and make one person feel like complete shit…. That’s just plain wrong.

I emailed my older brother Mike the other night after I came across a piece of movie trivia on IMDB that caught my eye:

(From The Matrix Revolutions
All of the crew members of the Hammer (with the exception of Captain Roland) are named after firearms (i.e. Mauser, Colt, AK)

Now most people won’t understand the quirk but I immediately put two and two together on this and thought of The Dark Tower saga and Stephen King. Roland of Guilead is the last Gunslinger and he is normally associated with guns – hard calibers, so to speak. I just had to pass that along to someone as a possible Dark Tower reference.

Of course, Mike could give a shit but you still gotta love him – for some reason :tongue

I also told Mike (after his “I could care” reply to my note) that I have been noticing another quirk lately7y that has been driving me bonkers just because it’s so obvious and so veiled at the same time. I’ve been thinking of The Godfather when I watch First Wives Club on cable. Diane Keaton yells something about “Uncle Carmine” and there is this weird progression that ties that line into the Godfather and Keaton’s role in it. (“Uncle Carmine” is what Bruno Kirby calls Marlon Brando’s character in The Freshman,. His full name is Carmine Sabatini and the character is a caricature of Don Vito Corleone, the character Brando portrayed in the epic Godfather film).

I don’t know, stuff like that has stuck out a lot with me lately. Anyone else have things like that happen when watching movies? Seeing ties to other movies and such?

So John’s an admitted gimp, right?

On his way to recovery and John the Gimp looks into work between little things this week and what happens when I call Abilities of Florida to see if they could assist me with finding a job?

I find out their phone number for TTY users has been disconnected.

OK, that’s good and fine. I can use Voice Carry Over and weird them out because of it. I mean, they’re serving the public, right? I’m a member of the public… So ring-a-ding-ding I give them a call and I get a recording that I need to type in an extension or wait for an operator. I wait and the operator comes on demanding an extension.

Puzzled, I tell them that I am not sure what extension I am looking for because I’m just trying to get information and find out how I can get assistance through this company.

After about 5 minutes of silence the operator responds — asking me again for an extension… :rolleyes

Fun stuff

I’ve been torn this evening on my mood for the day as it has changed over and over again from positive to negative to positive again. I’ve been walking around without the walker today – and when I say that I don’t mean walking and leaning on shit but walking walking a weird walk that was almost toddler like but I was doing it. That had me stoked to no end….

But then the other shoe fell as I got a message from my friend Michelle. Michelle has been a friend for a year now and it came as news to me, and as quite a shock when I found out that she will be moving to Brooksville in July as her family just bought land up there. I’m friend with her dad too and the fact we talk online mostly means I won’t have that relationship bothered much but to lose Michelle hurts.

Of course, this was made up for to me in the smallest of ways as the Lightning beat the Islanders and moved on to the 2nd round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs… But that really doesn’t help me feel better that a good friend is going away.